It's about our community and our spirituality!


“are you people serious? you SAY you don’t mean all black people abandon their heritage by dating white women, but how much you go on and on and on about it, and how detailed you get over your thoughts on what THEY are thinking proves you believe MOST if not almost ALL blacks do this by dating whites. I am dating a black man, and how about this….we are both from NYC, and found ourselves stuck here in redneck hell. it’s a white, cookie-cutter world up here. My poor man just had no damn choice but to chose a white woman. I mean, good thing we turn him on anyway, but still, he wouldn’t have a choice if he wanted one!

Can anyone realize that it is not always about race? What if skin color was just on the list of things you actually LIKE about a person?! I have dated mostly all white men, and have come to find now that I have a strong attraction to black skinned men. So what? If you are Italian and really get turned on by red hair, does that make you wanna-be-Irish, or does it mean you are abandoning your Italian heritage? I hate this crap that seems to only be applied to black/white, and NO OTHER racial divide. It makes me sick. If you are German and love Jews, does that mean you are betraying your ancestors? Is it the high contrast between our looks that get to people?

I mean please, get used to the fact that some people may actually be attracted to each other, and betraying their race or abandoning their love for their ancestors is not even a THOUGHT in their mind!! Many different people have had to get over differences even harder than black and white. For God’s sake my 100% German grandfather had to go kill Germans in WWII. Does this mean he hates his ancestors? He could have been killing his cousins! Sometimes we change as people. We don’t forget our heritage, but when ideals change, we must learn to DEAL WITH IT. I don’t give a crap what any white OR black, man OR woman, thinks when my black man and my white little self go anywhere. If they don’t like it fine. Go run your mouth and help broaden the color gap to make it a little wider for the next generation to jump over.

Sometimes it seems people having anger issues towards their own race for interracial relationships make easy the most strong and ridiculous sure fire way to push for stronger racism. The hate turned from us not understanding each other and violence against one another, into now we want to understand each other and want to live together, but your fellow man doesn’t want you dissing your own people. If you are that into segregation then hop in a time machine and travel back 80 years. Then maybe we will stay away from each other. Till then, MOST of us in interracial relationships have NO plans to diminish the importance of our significant other’s background. In fact, I would hope and want to make sure that if I marry a black man and have a biracial child, I would want to make sure my child knew and understood every aspect of his heritage, and every corner of the world his people are from, whether it be British, German, Kenyan or Tanzanian. Guess that just makes him American, eh?

We can all be sexy, we can all be ugly. We can all choose who we want. I have gone 27 years of my life having all white and failing relationships. So when this sexy, sweet guy comes along, and he also happens to have different skin pigmentation than I, why should I pass him up? Because someone feels I am abandoning my British-English-German mutt of a background? Some of us just don’t care as much as you think we all do. And not everyone in an interracial relationship even puts that much thought into it. And it’s a shame to think that him and I could be walking anywhere, and anyone, black or white, could be looking at us thinking that we have turned our backs on our own cultures. How DARE ANYONE make an assumption about me without even knowing me. For every one of us trying to disprove reasons for racism, or try to knock down boundaries, there are 10 other people with boards and hammers putting the walls back up, and in the process, getting the younger kids to hold the nails. I just want to have my man and not be bothered. Who cares whether the flavor that seems long lasting to me be vanilla or chocolate?”Jen in response to White Woman Married to Black Man

Thanks for the feedback Jen,

But the more important question is…are you serious? You really don’t think I have a clue about you and your beloved beau? Obviously I must have struck a nerve and hit a little too close to your interracial relationship. One thing I will agree with you is that I really do believe that most black people who make the choice to date people other than their own race are doing so because of race. Just look at your choice of words…

“My poor man just had no damn choice but to chose a white woman. I mean, good thing we turn him on anyway, but still, he wouldn’t have a choice if he wanted one!”

But you will say that I’m the one that’s making this all about race. Why do you claim your black man is turned on by white women? Why is he living in redneck hell? Do you two have plans to go live in a black neighborhood somewhere? Or will you maintain your lives in your predominantly white area? Prior to you making this issue so personal to your situation, no one said jack about you and your significant other. But since you want to make this about you then let’s take a moment to examine your interaction with the black community.

You asked if an attraction to red hair means someone wants to be Irish. This really is a pitiful comparison to the issue at hand. Right now, I don’t know of any effort in America to subjugate the Irish community. These days, most Irish people are accepted as welcome members in most white communities. I know of no movement by Irish people to get away from their Irish heritage. Most Irish people are not identifiable as Irish by sight like most black people are identifiable as black by site. Irish people don’t deal with racial slurs that have the same impact as racial slurs for the black community. So what is your point? Is there much of a racial divide between the Irish community and the rest of the white community? So why are you trying to compare this to the racial divide between whites and the black community? Who ever heard of the Irish race? I think it is the Irish culture you’re trying to make a comparison with to the black race and it falls woefully short.

Why don’t you get accustomed to the fact that there is racism in America against the black community? Why don’t you try to open your mind and listen and try to learn something instead of just bitching about things that you really don’t or even want to understand. Your man obviously isn’t trying to educate you about the racism that continues to plague the black community. You two are happy to start your life together in your little Pennsylvania town that you refer to as redneck hell. How is he helping the black community? What issues do you two discuss about the black community? How often do you two patronize the black community when you go out on your dates or when you decide to partake a night on the town? What black establishments do you patronize? When was the last time the two of you even visited a black community? These questions are rhetorical. I’m sure we both know the answers.

“I mean please, get used to the fact that some people may actually be attracted to each other, and betraying their race or abandoning their love for their ancestors is not even a THOUGHT in their mind!”

Believe it or not, this is the problem. Nothing your black boyfriend is doing is done with the slightest consideration of how it might impact the black community. And you claim that people had to get over differences more polarizing than issues of black and white. What would those be? You say your German grandfather was killing other Germans? You make me laugh with your simple ideas. Americans kill other Americans all the time so I guess this means that they’re un-American in your simple mind. Was your grandfather a criminal or something? What context are you referring to? Did your grandpa make a choice to help stop Germany’s infamous atrocities during the second world war? If so, how does this relate to you and your black boyfriend? Is it your contention that your black boyfriend wants to kill black people? When do you two talk about the issues impacting the black community, or better yet, do something about them? Don’t tell me, let me guess. You don’t give a crap about any white or black issues. But coming from the white community that is more likely to subjugate the black community, you have the luxury of putting such thoughts aside and not worrying about the impact to your community because you are comfortable with the understanding that your community will continue with absolutely no impact.

On the other hand, your boyfriend should realize that he has left his black community behind. You’ll deny it. You’ll say it was just you two falling in love and being too busy to think of anything else. But he made the choice to leave his black community and go someplace where the chances of him meeting a compatible black woman was virtually nil compared to his chances of meeting a Marcia Brady wannabe. And if it wasn’t you, he’d find himself a nice little Mary Ann or Ginger or, if he’s into cougars, a Mrs. Howell. He made the choice to put himself in an environment where he cut himself off from any involvement with other black people. You said so yourself, he has no choice but to date white women. You say you want your future biracial children to learn their culture whether it’s from Kenya or Tanzania. But what are you doing to experience your boyfriend’s black community today, here and now? I’d be willing to bet nothing. Am I wrong? I seriously doubt it.

“We can all choose who we want. I have gone 27 years of my life having all white and failing relationships. So when this sexy, sweet guy comes along, and he also happens to have different skin pigmentation than I, why should I pass him up? Because someone feels I am abandoning my British-English-German mutt of a background? Some of us just don’t care as much as you think we all do.”

Again, something else we agree on. I know for a fact that neither you nor your boyfriend cares enough to make a difference for the black community. If your boyfriend hasn’t turned his back on his community then I have no clue what to call it. How dare anyone make an assumption about you without even knowing you? Woman, up until a little while ago I never knew that you even existed. I have never cared one way or another about you or your relationship. What I cared about was the black community. The black community is something you will never know anything about.  It’s not in Kenya or Tanzania? Give me a fucking break. The black community isn’t across the ocean. You’d know that if you cared. You would know that if your boyfriend cared.

Thank you for being such a fine example of one of the many multitude of problems that continues to plague the black community.


Tuesday, December 29, 2009 - Posted by | African Americans, Black Community, Black Culture, Black People, Life, Racism, Thoughts


  1. I know this doesn’t add anything to the conversation but what comic book did you get the image for your post from? Also did you have a fulfilling and peaceful celebration this holiday season?

    All Smiles,
    Dark Frosty

    Comment by Dark Frosty | Wednesday, December 30, 2009 | Reply

  2. Thanks for the feedback Dark Frosty,

    I found it where I find the vast majority of my images…somewhere on the net.

    As far as the holidays go…My family and I did, and are doing well. Thanks for asking! I hope the same is true for you and yours!


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Wednesday, December 30, 2009 | Reply

  3. …Now you go ahead, immediately breakdown my commentary bit by bit and come back at me with hatefuless and negativity…

    Comment by Sherri | Friday, January 1, 2010 | Reply

  4. Sherri,

    Obviously you feel that I’m unfair. You’ve already decided that I’m just going to attack you. If that’s the case, if you honestly feel that I’m just waiting to pounce on your comment then you must honestly feel that you comment is hateful and less than conducive to the topic at hand. If you honestly feel that I’m going to comeback at you with nothing but negativity then you must feel that your comment is something that’s negative. Why don’t we stop wasting each other’s time and just do without posting your comment at all.

    Whenever you feel like you can make a comment without the forecast of me being hateful and negative, you are more than welcome to comeback. Rule of thumb; don’t say anything hateful and you won’t have to worry about anything hateful coming back.


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, January 1, 2010 | Reply

  5. Well, all I was gonna do Brother P was complain that you limited the image to softcore, skinemax action here. But since its the Christmas season and all I’ll just keep my mouth shut!

    Comment by Mike Lovell | Monday, January 4, 2010 | Reply

  6. Thanks for the feedback Mike Lovell,

    But are you trying to get me busted? The misses might see your comment!!!


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Monday, January 4, 2010 | Reply

  7. Well SH%$ yes thank you for telling it. All I have to say is the personal is political, and the choice you make about who you lie down with matters, especially in this country ( yes even in 2010) and it really matters when your skin is brown. The reason:
    I was born and raised in California,lived in San Diego over 20 years and let me say that I dont see Black couples anymore. I’m not joking- everyday ALLDAY its black men with white girls, then maybe Latinas next then Asian women.
    I often think to myself that we are going to breed african american families out if existence, and its going to happen soon. Little girls and boys that look like me will go the way of the Dodo: and soon the polar bear- extinct in America. Am I an alarmist? Probly, but i’ll tell u this
    I dont remember the last time I saw a pregnant Black with her husband.

    The last time I saw a pregnant Latina with her husband?- yesterday.

    The last time I saw a pregnant White woman with her husband?- this week.

    Comment by MM | Wednesday, January 6, 2010 | Reply

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