brotherpeacemaker

It's about our community and our spirituality!

Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn

And now a word from our sponsor…

Are you an African American employee and your boss is on your back about you sleeping at work? Is your employer expecting you to be productive? Does the promotion process at your job require you to take a test to see how fit you are,  in order for you to prove you’re not capable of dodging more responsibility? Then you need to call the law offices of Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn, the tough affirmative action lawyers who will fight for your right to do nothing and get paid. The attorneys at Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn know that affirmative action laws were designed with you in mind. And it’s about time you put them to work for you.

Since the federal government enacted affirmative actions laws back in 1964, the law offices of Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn have been working hard so black people everywhere don’t have to. While the law was intended as a guideline for businesses to win federal contracts, most people make the assumption that affirmative action laws apply to all aspects of private and public business. And Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn will be there to take advantage of people’s ignorance. Just listen to some of these testimonials!

From Whitewoods, USA
We had an all white shoe factory back in Whitewoods that made shoes for shoe stores all across America. Well, when the Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn found out that our factory was all white, they threatened to tell the government and have us shut down unless we hired a black person. We had to go all the way to Atlanta to find an unqualified candidate who had absolutely no credentials to do the job we were hiring him for. Well, we paid to fly him and his family in. And right after his last interview we hired him right there on the spot. He signed all the legal papers. And as soon as his signature was dry he went to sleep right there in the human resources office. We said, hey wake up! You got to go to work! He started hollering, Affirmative Action! Affirmative Action! He then said he was going to go to Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn. We were so scared we handed him a blanket and a pillow and did everything we could to make him comfortable. We learned our lesson the hard way.  I wish I was black.

From Urban Black Town, USA
Yeah I’m a black man. And I figured I was spinning my wheels trying to do for the man like I was going to be rewarded for a job well done.  I worked for my job for years like a slave.  But you know what?  One day I got smart.  I figured I didn’t have to do anything at my job. I made the call.  The very next day I went to the job and they tried to wake me up saying something about me getting back to work. I looked at them like they was crazy.  Shoot, I reached into my wallet and pulled out my race card. I said, take a look at this bitches!  It was a business card from Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn. You should’ve seen it. Their jaws dropped open as if I had drop kicked their grandma. I said, ain’t nobody going to work around here unless they want to go to work. And right now, I’m in no mood to be thinking about what y’all want. Thanks to Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn it actually pays to be black!

From No Schooling, USA
I used to go to school. But one day, when I was walking along with a few of my girlfriends, one of them started telling us about Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn. My girl said that Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn told them that as long as you’re black, you get first choice at any job with any employer. Test scores didn’t mean anything, as long as you’re black and you’ve got Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn. So I quit school and went to their law offices. I found out that employers don’t expect black people to do well and will always hire black people regardless of skill sets, experience, schooling, or knowledge because affirmative action laws make it illegal for white people to discriminate. And the law offices of Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn have more experience than anyone, at manipulating these laws so that black people have the advantage. It’s a wonder why black unemployment numbers are always so much higher than whites when affirmative action laws make it so easy to take employers to the bank.

So the question now is what are you waiting for? As long as you have Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn on your side, you’ll always have a race card to play. Don’t let whitey take advantage of you. Don’t let anybody push you around and try to give you some idea that they have expectations that you have to meet. If you’re black, you have a ticket for a free ride to the big house. There is no door that can keep you out. Affirmative action was made just for you. And if anyone tells you otherwise, tell them to take a hike. Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn stand ready to take anybody to court, and we’ll make them pay.

So if you feel like taking a nap or not showing up for work, go right ahead. The law office of Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn has your black back. Call now! Operators are standing by. Don’t waste another day working for pay. Thanks to affirmative action, the pay is yours, whether you earn it or not. Call the law offices of Layzee, Black, Menn, and Womynn to get your piece of the affirmative action pie. Preferential treatment for black people is just a phone call away. Don’t hesitate. Litigate!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 - Posted by | African Americans, Black Community, Black Culture, Black People, Life, Racism, Thoughts

5 Comments »

  1. “It’s a wonder why black unemployment numbers are always so much higher than whites when affirmative action laws make it so easy to take employers to the bank.”

    This is a pretty funny-ass post and very thoughtful. It’s interesting that you mention what I’ve quoted above because that’s something racist whites ALWAYS fail to realize. Pointing out that obvious (well obvious to anyone with a brain or at least intellectually curious) fact completely deflates any argument of black preferential treatment through affirmative action. Of course racist whites will then attribute the high black employment rates in comparison to whites despite afac to us simply being lazy and not wanting to even get the job. It’s sad we just can’t catch a break.

    Comment by Dark Frosty | Tuesday, December 15, 2009 | Reply

  2. I’m lovin’ it! Actually you of all people know just how many times I have to comment to this topic. Do a few posts on Affirmative Action and everyone whose brother’s best friend’s dad’s uncle’s girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s best friend’s neighbor who talked to a guy at the bar who lost his job, didn’t get promoted, didn’t get into school or didn’t get a college scholarship all because some totally unqualified black person with lower test scores and/or not as much experience took his job or got the job, promotion, school placement or scholarship over him.

    And how any of them KNEW that the person was unqualified, had less experience, lower test scores or were unqualified is beyond me. I guess somehow they were able to get this black persons resume, test scores, school transcripts and or employee evaluation. I guess being black, makes these things a given fact. And you here it over and over and over again. It is as if a talking points memo went out to these people.

    And then to tell them that white women benefit most from affirmative action, just causes their heads to explode. This post is so funny and so right on, that it just had me cracking up. In fact I need to call Layzee, Black, Menn and Womynn. I want to get my free job AND a bonus for not snoring.

    Thanks.

    Comment by theblacksentinel | Wednesday, December 16, 2009 | Reply

  3. I was an affirmative action hire once. I beat out 24 white men and women for a Medicaid position (I was the first black man and only second male out of a group of a dozen workers in my unit). After a few weeks, one of my coworkers had the audacity to ask me how I felt being an affirmative action hire in front of the whole unit (with that stereotypical Mean Girl smirk and eye twinkle). I told her it didn’t bother me one bit seing as how “other” (meaning white) people had their own brand of affirmative action. She gave me a puzzled look until I reminded her of a conversation she had that I overheard. It seems she was able to gain her son a hard sought internship before the interview process had even begun (a fact that she had been quite proud of). A redneck lady in the corner (that the other ladies also gave a hard time) laughed out loud at her comeuppance. They never bothered me again and when I left a year or so later to work with kids a few even admitted they would miss me. I understood their unease that I was such an obvious AA hire, but if only they had given me a chance to show that I did at least have the ability to do the job (and probably better than a large portion of my fellow interviewees) things could have gone even better than they did.

    Comment by Carlton | Wednesday, December 16, 2009 | Reply

  4. WOW!!! That is quite possibly one of the funniest damn things I’ve ever read in my life!!! And sadly, that sonds like half the damn commercials for lawyers I see on tv evvery friggin commercial break!

    But you realize now, we crackers gon have to fight back….I dont work all that hard to begin with, but I can bring it down another notch or two for what I get paid!

    Comment by Mike Lovell | Wednesday, December 16, 2009 | Reply

  5. Brother peacemaker,

    Individuals such as yourself and Black sentinel give me hope for our people. Keep hitting them in the head with knowledge.

    MK

    Comment by Umkhonto we Sizwe | Friday, December 25, 2009 | Reply


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