brotherpeacemaker

It's about our community and our spirituality!

Wife Goes Clubbing and Tiger Found Bleeding

Now this is rich!  Tiger Woods has a single car accident just a few houses away from his Windermere, Florida home.  According to the news this morning, Mr. Woods hit a fire hydrant and then a tree when he wrecked his Caddy, and I don’t mean the guy that totes his clubs.  His wife, former Swedish model Elin Nordegren, showed up at the accident and used a golf club to knock out the back window to rescue her husband.  When police showed up at the scene, Mr. Woods was semi conscious and bleeding from lacerations to his mouth.  And that’s what we’ve been told so far.

Okay, not here’s what we have not been told.  How fast was he going in order to hit a fire hydrant and a tree just a few houses away from his home on an early Friday morning the day after Thanksgiving?  Dude was peeling out of his driveway for some reason.  Why did he need to be leaving so fast that he lost control and had an accident so close to home?  And he was bleeding from his mouth?  Somebody correct me if I’m wrong but don’t all Cadillac automobiles come with airbags these days?  Certainly his lips weren’t busted because of the impact with the tree.  Without a doubt, Mr. Woods must’ve hit something else.  And we’re supposed to believe that the man with better than 20/20 vision couldn’t see a fire hydrant on the side of the road.

And last but definitely not lease, Ms. Woods shows up at the accident with a golf club in her hands.  Now let me put myself in her shoes and try to paint a scenario.  My husband just leaves in his car and just a few minutes later I hear a car accident just a few mansions down from my mansion.  I put two and two together and know it’s my husband so I run all the way down to the end of the driveway to see his Cadillac up against a tree.  I run down to the accident and I see that he’s a bit incoherent in his semi conscious state, bleeding from the mouth because the defective Cadillac has a nonfunctioning airbag.  I just so happen to have a golf club in my hand and I use it on the back window to get him out.  That’s her story and she’s actually going to stick to it.  And that’s Tiger’s story too if he knows what’s good for him.

Here’s what I think what happened.  And please note that I am the first to admit that I don’t know the story for sure.  But looking at the scenario and all the unanswered questions, this is my best guess.

Elin and Tiger were arguing and she was angry and she was aggressive.  Maybe she was upset with the way he played his last game.  Maybe she was upset over the fact that he didn’t like her turkey from their Thanksgiving meal.  Maybe she had PMS and just the site of him that morning was enough to send her over the edge.  Or maybe Mr. Woods was having an affair.  He wouldn’t be the first high profile celebrity to go rogue from a marital perspective.  But whatever the reason, the little lady grabbed a golf club and started swinging long before Mr. Woods had his run in with the hydrant.  And Tiger was bleeding from his lips?  I’m willing to bet that Ms. Woods picked up that titanium Big Bertha and started doing a Sammy Sosa impersonation and Tiger’s face became a baseball.  She connected with one of her swings and that was all it took to send Tiger running like a kitty.

To his credit, Mr. Woods made the choice to run rather than defend himself.  Dude remembered how the white community turned against O.J. Simpson and decided he couldn’t risk all he had by becoming the bane of the dominant community’s existence.  He has successfully distanced himself from his black roots.  But if he had done anything to that white woman attacking him he’d quickly learn exactly how black he was.  Even Fuzzy Zoeller, the jealous golfer who made an offhanded comment about fried chicken being served at the Master’s dinner in honor of Mr. Woods, would come out the woodwork to remind people he was the first to call Tiger what he ultimately is, an angry black man.  Nope, defending himself just wasn’t worth the trouble.

Tiger was probably reeling when he went to the car looking for some sense of safety.  He locked the doors when he got in.  Infuriated the wife took a swing and knocked out the back glass.  He started the car and drove away in a panic.  The little missy started running behind him.  He was busy looking for her in his rearview mirror when he hit the hydrant.  When she ran up to the car she was still clutching her weapon in her hand.  That story about trying to rescue him out of the car was just a cover to hide the fact that she was more likely to try and finish him off.

That’s my version of the story and I’m sticking to it.  Women and men argue.  The Woods were having a domestic dispute that got seriously out of hand.  No one’s image is so squeaky clean that he or she is above a little conflict.  Tiger Woods can either come clean or refuse to comment on the event.  But don’t feed us some bull about the little blond headed slugger there using a golf club to pull Tiger out.  It looks more like the little lady was actually using that club to put Tiger’s lights out.

Friday, November 27, 2009 - Posted by | Life, Thoughts |

3 Comments »

  1. Gotta watch out for those supermodels….especially after a few lessons at the driving range! I’m suspecting that had it been a golf ball, the drive would’ve gone at least 300 yards!

    Comment by Mike Lovell | Saturday, November 28, 2009 | Reply

  2. Thanks for the feedback Mike Lovell,

    He’s lucky she didn’t have a gun in the house! Is it Tiger season? Girl probably didn’t care…

    Peace

    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Saturday, November 28, 2009 | Reply

  3. She’s certainly not the first wife to either swing a golf club or go head hunting……….

    Comment by Reggie | Saturday, November 28, 2009 | Reply


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