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The Fifth Of July Can’t Come Fast Enough


Today is Fourth of July eve.  And the holiday cannot come and go fast enough for me.  Last night, some yahoo of deviant character was lighting, firing, and popping fireworks a little before midnight.  If it was just the one night spent trying to keep people from sleeping that would literally be one thing.  But some of my neighbors have been so inconsiderate that they have been lighting firecrackers for the past month.  I am really beginning to loathe fireworks.

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I was one of those deviants so long ago when I was a kid.  I wouldn’t think anything of lighting a firecracker while neighbors were trying to sleep.  The only reason I didn’t do it was that I knew that a couple of those people trying to sleep were my parents.  And it didn’t matter if they were there or not.  If any neighbors saw me lighting fireworks in the middle of the night, they were sure to call my parents the next day to complain and demand some retribution.  And then mom or dad or both would light my ass as if I was a firecracker.

Now that I’m so much older and most, not all but most, of my deviant behavior has been exorcised from my character, I briefly thought last night that I could call the police.  The police patrols have been extra heavy as of late and I can only assume it’s because people are complaining about firecrackers.  One time, a patrol car came around and the delinquents scattered.  The police parked right at an intersection where there was the most activity.  They stayed there for a few minutes and then left.  Not fifteen minutes later it sounded like a Chinese New Year there were so many pops.  It was as if somebody was trying to say, I’m still here bitches!

So I’ve given up on calling the police.  Besides, our cops have much more important things to do than to chase firecracker wielding idiots.  So I silently wished somebody would just blow their fingers off.  They’d go to the hospital for a hot minute.  But as soon as they got home they’d realize they had another perfectly good hand and would soon be out there again taking the same risk, not learning a damn thing.

So the Fourth can’t come fast enough for me.  I imagine some of my neighbors will light their fireworks in a climatic crescendo of noisy mini explosions.  The air in the neighborhood will be thick with gunpowder and smoke.  The half hearted hope that somebody gets injured will be replaced with the really serious hope that no one gets injured and damage to property will be kept to an absolute minimum.  My mom’s dog will be brought inside a nervous wreck from all the noise and not understanding that there is no real danger.

Come the anti-climax of Sunday the fifth things will die down considerably.  Hopefully, the firecracker venders will be long gone and my neighbors won’t be able to replenish their supplies.  And definitely by Monday or maybe as late as Tuesday the neighborhood will be dry, at least until the next holiday.  Next week can’t come fast enough.

Friday, July 3, 2009 - Posted by | Life, Thoughts


  1. I gather you don’t know their parents or you’d already have been on the phone with them. It seemed it was a good solution, once upon a time.

    Comment by Bettina Hansel | Friday, July 3, 2009 | Reply

  2. Thanks for the feedback Bettina Hansel,

    It was a good idea once upon a time. But the problem is that I don’t even know who’s doing it. Even if I had somebody’s phone number I wouldn’t know who to call. The people in my neighborhood are strangers. I might be able to point out the people next door, but get further than that and I don’t know the people or their children. Back when I was little, we used to have block picnics and we used to go to school functions together. Now, the children are bused to the school across town and few people act as a community unit.


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, July 3, 2009 | Reply

  3. Fireworks are illegal in suburban areas where I live but what policemem dont realise is that if you want something to be made popular, make it illegal. Which is why Hallo’ween is the most restless night of both me and my dogs lives! Its young children using fireworks that are the worst and dont get me wrong I love to see the night sky light up in remembrance of All Souls Day as much as anybody but there should be a limit and weve forgotten what we are celebrating, very few people imagine Hallo’ween as

    Comment by hateracism lovelife | Monday, July 13, 2009 | Reply

  4. little more than a corporate holiday invented by candy companies like Valentines Day but it is an ancient holiday invented by pagans then contorted by both the church and candy companies into a horrible tacky mess void of any of its original meaning! To remember the dead! Not to dress up like an idiot then beg for sweets. Bonfires were intended to warn off evil spirits and to welcome the souls of deceased family members! Not to piss off locals, get drunk around, get rid of an old sofa and other crap!

    Comment by hateracism lovelife | Monday, July 13, 2009 | Reply

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