It's about our community and our spirituality!

Happy Paternal Fool’s Day


We celebrated Father’s Day yesterday. The misses asked me to make a fire in the little black Smokey Joe. That barbeque pit is so ancient I seriously doubt if it’ll make another year. But then again I said the same thing about it two years ago. Baby boy woke up just in time to come out with me. While I worked on starting a fire, my little man cub kept himself busy playing with the water house. Lately, he discovered water comes out of that strange thing at the end of the long green thing. Once I set it so that a small stream of water came out continuously, baby boy was set.

It took all of about six minutes to start the fire. First step was to clean the pit. Some bugs got inside and made a nest since the last fire. I decided to be merciful and just tossed them into the trash with the left over ashes. Any bugs that stayed were about to be learn first hand about the affects of fire. I spread the charcoal on the bottom grill, doused it all with lighter fluid, held the match to one of the briquettes, and let the flame do its work. Within sixty seconds the pit was on fire. I put the top grill on. Another generous but judicious squirt from the lighter fluid and it was roaring. After a minute or so I got the metal brush and cleaned the top grill. After that, a third squirt of lighter fluid, the flame roared again, and the grill was ready for the chicken. Unfortunately, we don’t do red meat or pork, much.

I was supposed to be relaxing this weekend. So when I turned and asked the misses for a beer, she turned for her purse and hightailed it to the grocery store. Normally, I’d have to make the beer run. But this was my weekend. I stayed behind and watched the meat and baby boy with the water hose.

The boy never moved. He was content to just stand there with one hand holding the hose and the other hand in front of the nozzle, defusing the water. The water would occasionally splash up into his face and he would blink like he’d just been pepper sprayed. Still not quite used to water being on his face, but that wasn’t about to stop him. He’d try to wipe drops away. And for every drop he wiped away he added a dozen more. I got up to turn the meat over and he looked up for just a second to make sure I wasn’t leaving. But his attention quickly returned to the water. About thirty minutes later mom made the beer run and baby boy never took a single step in any direction. He simply stayed there getting wet.

We took pictures. Normally when he sees us taking pictures of him he wants to grab the camera. But he just stayed there. And we just watched him. I finished two beers, finished the first round of meat, carted it away and started a second round, and he stayed right there. He was soaked and getting soaker by the minute. His diaper started to hang like a sack of potatoes.

In the middle of us laughing at him I realized that the only reason I’m relaxing this day is because of him. I’m a father because of him. He has transformed me. And I admired the little soaking wet fella for what he has done for my world. He has helped me to better understand my place in the universe. I truly love my son. And he is much more important to me than anything else in this world. I will do my best to move heaven and hell for him. He is my only hope for my family’s future.

It was about this time I started thinking about Mr. Obama’s statement last year, talking in front of the black community, and saying any fool can cause a child. That may be true. His message, dripping with contempt for black people like my son was dripping with water, was that it takes courage and commitment to be a father. I won’t disagree with the sentiment even though the delivery was pretty disgusting for someone who was supposed to be trying to earn black people’s vote along with the rest of the people in our national collective. It was pretty obvious that this politician took black people for granted then and would take black people for granted as President.

Yes it is true that just about any fool can cause a child. And it is also true that real men are committed to their children. But I think it takes a special man to be a fool for his child. Like Sonny the cuckoo bird that perpetually went coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, I will be more than happy to go crazy for my little man cub. He has me wrapped around his little pinky. And he barely knows how to keep water out of his face.

I take that back. He knew exactly how to get the water away. After about an hour or so of just standing there and drenching himself, he looked at me and started screaming. And like a servant at his master’s beck and call I immediately jumped up to solve the problem. He held out the hose and I took it away from him, turned it off, and put it away. He reached up to me and picked him up. Water oozed from his clothes. I handed him to the misses. She’s a fool for baby boy too y’know.

Saturday, June 20, 2009 - Posted by | Life, Thoughts


  1. As I read your article, I thought back to my kids playing with the hose, well they still do 🙂 Now they turn it on me, so watch out for your little cub, he to will figure that out! I agree as parents we will do anything for our kids, unfortunately sometimes it causes us much more pain than them…
    I am sorry you feel like President Obama has let you down. I read his letter yesterday for this year, maybe you won’t feel it is directed only to black american’s.
    I have seen really poor parenting in every race, as I am sure you have too. I believe it is up to each one of us who is a parent, to be consistent, loving, and provide a good example to our children, regardless of our race or culture.
    We were blessed with these children and need to do right by them each and every day whether they are living with us or not.
    Happy Father’s Day!

    Comment by El | Sunday, June 21, 2009 | Reply

  2. Thanks for the feedback El,

    I read Mr. Obama’s letter this year as well. If that was the message that was delivered last before the black community then I wouldn’t have had a problem. If last year’s message was directed to people of all races I would not have a problem. But that message was a clear rebuke of the black community and a clear indication of Mr. Obama’s direction were he to become president. I must admit, in that respect, he has not disappoint.


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Sunday, June 21, 2009 | Reply

  3. Happy Father’s Day BrotherP!

    Keep being that #1 Dad that you are!!!!
    WE need many many more like you!!

    Comment by Damien | Sunday, June 21, 2009 | Reply

  4. Thanks for the feedback Damien,

    Happy Father’s Day!!!


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Sunday, June 21, 2009 | Reply

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