White Woman Married To Black Man…
Forget “black communities” and “white communities!” Have you ever even considered the fact that two people might be IN LOVE?! Of course I notice he’s a black man and of couse he notices I’m a white woman. Our backgrounds and upbringings are so incredibly different but that makes the relationship awesomely interesting. Our daughter is going to have the best of both worlds sice we are both incredibly close with one anothers families. Nobody but hippie RACISTS think about “weakening the black and white communities”. . . come on man it’s the year 2009. I’m not stupid, I know there are racists out there but if someone is racist they aren’t going to be in a relationship with someone of a different race just to “weaken” the other race. hahaha I’m sorry I just have to laugh about this because of how obsurd it is that you think that peoples motive when they participate in an interratial relationship is to weaken it or that they even think about that. Every black mans goal is not to bring up “strong black children.” Some men like my husband want to bring up strong, wonderful, smart human beings that are just that. . . HUMAN BEINGS! Get a grip.
Thanks for the feedback whitewomanmarriedtoblackman,
You may not be stupid. Although I have begun to develop an impression of you, I really don’t know if you are stupid or not. But one thing I do know for sure is that you are incredibly naive to think that the black community is not weakened by black people who abandon it so quickly and easily. I know nothing about your relationship with your black husband and I won’t pretend to know by trying to pigeonhole the two of you into the stereotypical black/white relationship. I would like to believe that the two of you share equally in a healthy relationship that respects each other’s culture and history. But all too often, black people who enter into interracial relationships are quick to kick their black community to the curb.
I don’t know for sure if you’re stupid or not, but I will have to question your intellect if you think my supposition is that racist are getting with black people for the sole purpose of weakening the black community. That doesn’t even make sense to me and I wonder if you’re even bothering to read anything I write or to think about what is written with an unprejudiced perspective.
But one thing I will say is that many, and please note that does not mean all, white people who date people in the black community are enablers who are quick to encourage black people to transcend their race and join the racially generic dominant community that is predominantly white and abandon or minimize any connection or affiliation to the black community. There was a time where black people who dated white people remained proud of their black heritage. Now, black people who date exclusively outside the black community could not care any less about the black community. Any association with the black community is at best superficial.
A lot of children who come from an interracial relationship where one of the parents is obviously black and another parent is obviously white don’t want to be affiliated with the black community. Being black is perceived as some kind of anathema. I can only guess that in this obviously mixed relationship, the parents fail to give the child any positive connection to the black community. The child’s perspective of the black community will be shaped by a society that obviously thinks black people are of lesser value.
I remember not too long ago my woman was having this same type of exchange with a man from the black community and a woman from the white community who swore on their children’s heads that they were a loving interracial couple without a single hang up and were respectful of each other’s racial identity. They referred to the black man as being brown skinned while the white woman was free to be white. The man scoffed at the idea of being black because if you looked at him his skin was not black, it was brown. When asked was the woman’s skin actually white and why they didn’t use a more accurate description for her pigmentation, the couple hemmed and hawed about how it didn’t really matter how they referred to each other. This was a perfect example of the double racial standard that they were more than happy to live with. Their alleged mutual respect was nothing more than the black man acquiescing to the dominant community way of life and his black community affiliation was rejected in favor of a more racially generic lifestyle that tends to point the finger at black people for saying anything about the continuing racial animosity in this country.
All too often black people looking for interracial relationships or a relationship with someone other than black are black people who have hang ups about their own blackness. People who fall in love with people who just so happen to be on opposing sides of the racial divide are not the subject here. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?
But brothers and sisters whose love for non blacks is inspired by a hatred of self or a hatred of the black community should not be given a pass simply because they find a willing collaborator as an excuse to leave the black community behind. And you are absolutely correct. There are a lot of black people who have absolutely zero interest in raising children with a strong black affiliation. That happens to be the exact phenomenon which leads to a weaker black community and a strong racially generic community that heavily favors white privilege. I believe most people express the obviousness of something like this as, “DUH!”
Lastly, you find my position absurd. I’m not surprised and the feeling is mutual. I find many people from the racially generic dominant community like you absurd as well. But while you are free to laugh because you believe the impact to you and yours is rather limited, the black community is in trouble. By every social measure the black community suffers the shitty end of comparison. Whether it is health care, employment, education, wealth, justice, representation or whatever you wish to use as a measure, the black community always comes up short. Some of us don’t have the luxury of simply forgetting who comes from the black community and who comes from the white community.