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You’re Special So Just Deal With Racism


I was listening to the Diane Rehm show as they discussed biracial people with respect to President Barack Obama.  Although he is obviously of African descent, people refer to his ethnicity as biracial.  I’m of the opinion that the vast majority of black people in America are biracial.  It is a sure as fire bet that people in my family are.  But I consider myself African American or black just like Mr. Obama considers himself African American or black.

For me, it’s a comfortable arrangement because I look African American or black.  I’m not trying to be anything else.  So when people look at me, they see exactly what I’m trying to promote myself as, a black man.  I would imagine that it would be uncomfortable if people looked at me, recognized me as a being what we traditionally know as a black man, and I’m doing my best to be something else.  Obviously black people like Tiger Woods have the ability to promote themselves as not black and people will buy that argument because these previously known as obviously black profiled people can use their notoriety to muddle the issue and transcend their race.

The problem comes when black people who may look like me but would rather not be considered part of the black community don’t have the resources to change their racial identity with a nationally televised press conference.  Not too long ago, I remember watching a commercial for one of those dime store People’s Court knockoffs.  There was a woman of obvious African descent shaking her head in stereotypical black fashion while telling the judge that she didn’t care for black women.  The judge responded that if she didn’t like black women she didn’t like herself.  The woman responded, I’m not black.  The judge responded with an incredulous, What!  It was the kind of “What!” that makes your face scrunch up as you say it while your body is being jerked back a tad by an invisible hook.  Obviously, the judge didn’t get this woman’s memo.

Honestly, what can we expect when we live in a society that promotes such disdain towards black people and such emphasis upon race?  This is a society founded on the racist principle that if you are black then you are white people’s property.  And if you aren’t white people’s property but a freed man person then you are only three fifths that of a white person.  And even after institutionalized slavery was stopped, the practice of Jim Crow stepped right in to keep the racial divide as wide as possible.  And even after the institutionalized discrimination of Jim Crow and other laws were declared illegal, blatant racial discrimination simply converted itself to the down low kind where the sign saying “no blacks” was taken down but black people still weren’t welcome.  The burden of proof falls on the victim’s shoulder and the fact that an organization is void of black people isn’t proof.  You have to find a smoking gun like a memo that says something like we don’t like black people and we will never hire black people and we hope all black people will die tomorrow.

So now that we try to pretend there is no racism towards black people and that the fact that black people in any and every social measure fall short of their white counterparts, why would people want to consider themselves black when all they have to do is find that one ancestor or elder in the blood line that proves their otherness.  It’s nothing for some black people to say something like they found out that their great grandma Suzie on their dad’s mother side was white so therefore they are no longer black but biracial!  They find their get out of blackness card!

If only it was that easy.  As I continued to listen to the Diane Rehm show, a caller told her story about what happened to her biracial daughter at some store preparing for a birthday party.  There was a white woman with her white daughter in the same aisle looking for party favors.  At some point, the little white girl turned to the little biracial girl and said, you can’t come to my party because you’re black.  The mother of the biracial girl countered this early lesson on racial discrimination by letting her daughter know how special she was.

The mother never said what her ethnicity was but I doubt if it was black.  Most black people know that telling your daughter that she is special doesn’t always make up for the fact that little white girls don’t want her at their birthday parties.  If anything the mother of the biracial girl that is obviously black should have told the mother of the little white girl that she’s raising quite the social racist.  The mother could have demonstrated to her biracial daughter first hand that she shouldn’t tolerate such blatant forms of racial discrimination.

Being told she’s special won’t keep her daughter from being excluded from future job opportunities.   That’s why some black people are so happy to kick their blackness to the curb at the first opportunity.  Did I say opportunity?  They’ll do it even if there’s no opportunity to do it.  Why wait?  The little biracial girl may look like a black girl to the little white girl.  But she’s not black at all but biracial or, even better, she’s special.  Teaching her daughter to say nothing is to teach her daughter to tolerate the racial discrimination that comes her way with platitudes of feel goodness.

Regardless, it’s just a matter of time before special becomes a racial category.  Some time in the future there will be no black people.  From a strictly technical perspective the vast majority of people who look black will actually be considered biracial or multi racial.  Maybe along with the question to identify your ethnicity there should be second question, have people ever looked at you and assumed you were black?  In the future little white girls might say something like, you can’t come to my birthday party because you’re special and you look like you’re black.

Friday, January 23, 2009 - Posted by | African Americans, Black Community, Black Culture, Black People, Black Women, Life, Racism, Thoughts


  1. I definitely agree with this post. I think that we are doing children a disservice to play this multiracial, biracial, rainbowracial game with them.

    I feel like you were channeling my family tree. As my fathers mother was born on an Indian reservation to a white mother. She married a man whose mother was from Africa and whose father was the reservations Shaman. WOW.

    Anyhow my mother would have knocked my teeth out if I were to run about telling people I was other than black. And I can’t stand the whole front that people put up to distance themselves from the black community.

    It all falls back to stereotype. They feel that blacks fulfill some sort of stereotype and wish to distance themselves from that supposed bad seed by claiming everything but.

    Instead of looking at their ancestry and seeing the strength, adversity and rich heritage. They only see it through the eyes of a white supremacist. They see negative and that is enough.

    People such as Morgan Freeman who would rather tell a reporter interviewing him that he is a mutt as opposed to being black is such a disgusting thing. We have internalized the negative hype and can’t or aren’t willing to be who god made us.

    And that mother who told her daughter she was special also did her daughter a disservice. She wasted a great opportunity to not only teach her daughter about the adversities she is going to have to face as a black person. Also, like you said, she missed the opportunity to educate a fellow mother of the racist child she is rearing. Knowing full well that this child has gotten this mindset from her parents.

    But, she allowed her daughter to see that nothing is done when a person slaps racism on you. So she will be more likely to be a person who grows up and gives excuses for racists. Like the John McWhorter’s and Shelby Steele’s of the world.


    Comment by theblacksentinel | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  2. Your post is insightful, and I’m not trying to knock it in any way, but there is another side to this.

    There are many biracial people who were raised solely by the white side of their family, and were never around any Black people. These people did not get to choose who they were raised by, and how they were raised. They didn’t get to choose what culture they were going to be groomed with, they just got groomed.

    If a biracial person identifies more with their Black side, then they are free to. If a biracial person identifies more with their white side, then they are also free to. And if a biracial person identifies better with ‘biracial’, then so be it.

    Did this mother also tell her child about the severe racism that he/she will get from the Black people in her life? How they will never consider the child ‘really Black’? How they will taunt the child verbally, emotionally, and even physically just because their skin is lighter? How if the child doesn’t act ‘hood’ or ‘ghetto’, the Black children will make fun of them and call them ‘white’ and a ‘lame’? How as adults, they will never fit in with the ‘Black crowd’ because it’s a totally different culture; therefore, even so-called Black ‘adults’ will treat them as though something is wrong with them, calling them immature names like children do?

    Racism to biracials does not only come from whites, not by a long shot. Blacks are often more abusive than whites when it comes to racial discrimination; they just get away with it easier.

    Everyone, not just biracials, have the freedom to identify as they wish, and by whatever makes them feel more free to be themselves. No one else has the right to dictate how they identify. It is not their life that they are living, so they don’t need to worry themselves with it. And this includes the direct parents of a biracial person.

    One life has one owner, and that owner gets to make all the decisions. Thanks for the post.

    Comment by House | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

    • Thanks for the feedback House,

      But none of us get to choose who we are raised by or how we are raised. If we did, no doubt many of would do things differently. If a biracial person wants to minimize their blackness they are absolutely free to do so. Nobody has said anything to the contrary. It happened for Tiger Woods and a lot of other people who may be instantly recognized as having African ethnicity. I have a variety of ethnicities in my own makeup. European, Native American, obviously African. But I make the choice to identify with the black community. I am free to do so. And if I feel it is indicative of how our society pressures people to minimize their blackness and embrace their otherness.

      As far as biracial people not fitting in with black people, I beg to differ. Yes some black people will show their ignorance for the issue at hand. I am a black man that would not be accepted by some black people. And? There are ignorant people on both sides of the racial divide. But I also seriously doubt if a little black girl would see the obviously black but biracial girl and say something like you can’t come to my party because you look black or you look white or you look biracial.

      While the social aspect of racism is hurtful, the economic aspect of racism is far more damaging. Generally speaking black people aren’t making the decision to not hire people because of their ethnicity. As a multi racial man who chooses to be affiliated with black people but is not always welcome I know exactly the hurt that you speak of. But, as a multi racial man who chooses to be affiliated with the black community, it is far more dangerous for my and my family’s well being to be rejected for employment and educational opportunities because of our overwhelming blackness.

      Yes it is true that everyone has the freedom to identify themselves as they wish. But we also have the freedom to make judgments on what we see. Tiger Woods may say he isn’t black. But as former Secretary of State Colin Powell said, in America, when you look like me, you’re black. Tiger Woods may say he isn’t black. People like Fuzzy Zeller says he is.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  3. I don’t know why my comment got linked to “theblacksentinel”, but that is not my site. Mine is Trickery is not appealing.

    Comment by House | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

    • House,

      I have no idea what you’re referring to. Jumping to conclusions and making accusations is not helpful or welcome. I strongly suggest you not make implications about my character. theblacksentinel is a fellow blogger that I think very highly of and the suggestion that people need to be “tricked” to visit her site is very distasteful. So much for your internet manners. Rest assured, I would rather delete your comments than stoop to such foolish trickery. Some black people do have a sense of integrity.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  4. Oh no, I’m sorry, I forgot to leave a comment apologizing. I’m used to the “comment by…” portion in the comments being on the top in my own blog. And when it was at the bottom of the comments on yours’ it confused me. I’m sorry about that.

    On another note, I just want to thank you for responding to my comment. Your argument is quite valid. But I assure you that there are little(and adult) Black girls and women who will not invite a little mixed girl or woman to their party simply because they’re mixed. There are a lot of Black women who are intimidated by mixed women. I won’t go into it, but please be assured that it happens quite frequently.

    You have a nice blog.

    Comment by House | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  5. House,

    I agree that there ARE black women and little girls who would not invite a mixed/biracial person to their party. But the bigger issue which brotherpeacemaker hit on is the fact that it is going to be more likely that the little white girl in the store or her future husband or other family would be in the position one day to deny that biracial girl a job.

    It is far more likely for blacks to accept biracial people as one of their own than to alienate them as an other. Remember blacks did not adhere to nor start the “one drop rule.” That was enacted by whites who did not want to inadvertently mix it up with a little blackness.

    While yes blacks have been suspicious of biracial people due to the hierarchy that placed biracial people ahead of them. But for the most part blacks have been the last refuge of biracial people who were not accepted by white people.


    Comment by theblacksentinel | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  6. Well, that can be one person’s argument from their one perspective. But there are many different people who have lived varying lives out in this world, and they each will have a different perspective.

    From my own, I cannot agree with that. I have noticed that Black people are quick to “claim” a biracial person if they put on a Black “act” when they’re around them, even if that “act” is not really how that person is. I have also noticed that as soon as that same biracial person does something the Black people don’t approve of, then they shun him/her and blame whatever they did on their white side. That’s how they like to play it, while at the same time blaming everyone else in the world for being racist.

    In regards to the ‘one drop rule’, white people may be the ones who created it, but Black people sure do love to keep it alive today, don’t they? Black people are very adamant about maintaining that anyone who is mixed is therefore Black. This is not true, but Black people insist that a mixed person claim Black, and only Black. Who is keeping this rule alive now?

    And from my own perspective, Black people are not the ones who are more accepting of mixed people. Whites have proven to be the ones more willing to see one as a person, and not as a color. Blacks more often go to color first, and then maybe they’ll give you a chance if they think you’re “down” enough. I could go on and on, but it’s not necessary.

    Though our opinions differ, I still respect yours’.

    Comment by House | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

    • House,

      Black people disapprove of anyone who might shun them. White people do the same thing. Biracial and multi racial people do the same thing. You yourself are disapproving black people who shun you. So what’s the difference? It’s just that when black people do it, it is somehow more unacceptable. I’m sorry to hear that your experience with black people is so horrible. Many white people share your views.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  7. Awesome post!

    I’m linking this post, and I hope you don’t mind.

    Comment by RiPPa | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

    • Thanks for the feedback RiPPa,

      Link until your heart is content!


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, January 23, 2009 | Reply

  8. We hold these truths to be evident…. I stand mid argument here as a african american mom to multi-ethnic children all raised african regardless of phenotype. Two look black and one doesn’t, what is a family to do? I am a southerner, and my family photos have lightened and darkened over two hundred years. We have and will always be africans in america, like it or love it this is who we are! I think it fruitless to pine and quibble over degrees of purity/blackness. Before you know it there will be the same cultural mania that lead to world genocides (it’s all over the history books choose your continent and era-it’s all the same charade).

    I have learned a great simply observing Barak Hussein. We have to call on spiritual ties that guide how we and move and deal in the world everyday (and live each day like it is our last). How people look at is is far less significant that the creator’s purpose for us each day. That “race” thing is a dead divisive tactic that doesn’t desevere half the attention we give it.

    Comment by felisha lee | Saturday, January 24, 2009 | Reply

    • Thanks for the feedback felisha lee,

      That “race” thing is a dead divisive tactic that doesn’t desevere half the attention we give it.

      And as much as I would like to believe in such a social construct, in all honesty we are far from it. The fact that during Mr. Obama’s inauguration that the crowd outside in the freezing weather was ninety eight percent black but the crowd inside at the inauguration luncheon was ninety nine percent white should be proof positive of our racial disparity. The idea that race is just some coincidence that we can look past ranks right up there with unicorns and leprechauns.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Saturday, January 24, 2009 | Reply

    • Felisha,

      “That “race” thing is a dead divisive tactic that doesn’t deserve half the attention we give it.”

      I respect your opinion and I am not sure were you live, but that “race” thing people live everyday.
      I experienced various racial comments after moving back home to the midwest for a year.
      The area consists of 74% white and 13% black. The opportunities for the black community there could be way better, but not much is happening because some of the white people holding back those who are trying to do better. There is a lack of some blacks being more involved in their community too.
      Some of my family are doing good, but most deal with the “race thing” daily on their jobs.

      This is in omaha, neb., where the young man decided to shot and kill people in the mall. A mall(all thriving businesses) that is a good 20-25 minutes drive from north omaha where most of the blacks live.

      A month later it never made national news how another young white man killed a thriving young black woman in college at a kfc drive through in omaha because she was black.

      Check out Omaha in Black and White, they had a nice 4 to 5 page article on poverty reasons over the summer of 07. Most of it had numerous reasons for the poverty level. It never scratched the surface on how they are purposely teaching the predominatly black schools on a lower level than the predominatly white schools.
      Sorry, I went on and on. Racism is far from a dead devisive tactic and more bold in some areas than others.

      Comment by K | Friday, May 22, 2009 | Reply

  9. Brotherpeacemaker,

    We don’t have to focus on things of this world since this is not where we will be when we’re gone. This world is only temporary.

    I beg of you: what color do you think we’ll be up in Heaven?

    That’s where our reward will be. There is nothing here for us to get so upset about. Race is just one more thing that doesn’t matter.

    Do you think that God is going to judge us differently depending on the color of the skin we had here on this earth? Or will He judge us equally, on the content of the deeds we did?

    I hope you bring on some more posts because you usher healthy thought and conversation.

    Comment by House | Saturday, January 24, 2009 | Reply

    • House,

      We absolutely have to focus on things on this world as long as we are part of this world. I’m not in heaven so I really don’t care what color people in heaven are right now. I’m not looking for some reward when I’m dead. What reward do I have to look forward to knowing that I did nothing to try and stop the discrimination that my future generations will suffer. I’m not looking to god for some judgment. My problem is the judgment people are passing on the black community now.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Saturday, January 24, 2009 | Reply

  10. “And as much as I would like to believe in such a social construct, in all honesty we are far from it. The fact that during Mr. Obama’s inauguration that the crowd outside in the freezing weather was ninety eight percent black but the crowd inside at the inauguration luncheon was ninety nine percent white should be proof positive of our racial disparity. The idea that race is just some coincidence that we can look past ranks right up there with unicorns and leprechauns.”

    I must say that this is an honest way of looking at the events of January 20th. And it sure is indicative of the work yet to be done, or just how far a gap that exists.

    Comment by RiPPa | Saturday, January 24, 2009 | Reply

  11. Insightful post. I agree with the reality you bring forward. In the world, it doesn’t matter if a person is biracial; they are considered black. I’ve recently heard the question “why doesn’t Barack consider himself biracial or white instead of black?” my response is because he wears the label he has been assigned–right or wrong, good or bad–and it has always been that way for blacks. Black folks that could “pass” way back when, some times lived in fear because they understood if they were discovered the comfort of a white existence would end. In summary, it doesn’t matter to the world at large that you may be half-white; if you look black, that’s all that counts; you are black.

    Thanks for your writings!

    Comment by Rites Inc. | Sunday, January 25, 2009 | Reply

    • Thanks for the feedback Rites Inc.,

      Not only does Mr. Obama take the label he was given, he has some affiliation with the black community unlike some black looking multi ethnic celebrities. I think it’s interesting how some of these people try to downplay or even reject their obvious blackness. Instead of saying yes I’m black but I’m also such and such, many people say I’m not black because I’m such and such.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Monday, January 26, 2009 | Reply

  12. In my comment that race is a”dead” divisive tactic, I suggest (and believe) it only has as much power as we ascribe to it. If you notice Barack ascendency to President was his totally downplaying race and showing his leadership prowess and ability to work toward righting republican wrongs. He never spoke directly to race other than denouncing his former pastor and his hijinx. The old guard (civil rights era leaders relied on race to be heard) Barack has shown us to “win” one must be most competent.

    Comment by felisha lee | Tuesday, January 27, 2009 | Reply

    • felisha lee,

      I understand the “dead” divisive tactic that you speak of. But the racial discrimination that permeates America is in itself a divisive issue. You might think that it only has as much power as we chose to ascribe to it. But the fact that the black community has to continue to endure unemployment figures twice that of white people, the fact that for every president from the black community we have tens of millions of black people languishing in prison, the fact that black men are being shot in the back as they lie face down with their hands bound behind their back, is another issue altogether. The fact that it is only unarmed black men who get mowed down by police in such a manner is a divisive issue itself. Mr. Obama’s campaign to the white house was filled with divisive racial tactics such as references to Obama Waffles, Barack the Magic Negro songs, and Drunken Negro cookies in honor of our new president. You might think bringing attention to such discrimination is being divisive. I prefer to see it as other people’s penchant for racial discrimination. The fact that Mr. Obama, a black man that happens to be very competent, comes behind a white president that was in most respects the least competent, does nothing to convince me that one has to be competent.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Tuesday, January 27, 2009 | Reply

  13. Felisha lee,

    Downplaying ones race has always been a way to get ahead in this country. That is why blacks who could pass DID. That is why people like D.L. Hughley go on Larry King and say that Don Imus was RIGHT because those black ladies were the ugliest, nappiest headed ho’s he’s ever seen.

    Then end up with even more fame AND a new show on CNN. I don’t think that this is some grand coincident. He blatantly showed his disdain for the black community and showed that he could tow the line. And that my friend is how we get ahead in America.


    Comment by theblacksentinel | Tuesday, January 27, 2009 | Reply

    • Oh WOW, I missed that airing, but I know I would have been disgusted. I wondered how he got on cnn, now I know. I never really cared for D.L.’s jokes, which consisted of talking about everyone in the audience. Instead of telling jokes that were actually funny.
      WOW, he should be ashamed.

      Comment by K | Friday, May 22, 2009 | Reply

  14. Are you saying that aperson who does not think his race is important..or sees himself as an like an uncle tom or something..what if you dont want to bee a “black man” or “white man..what if you just want to be identified by one thing..your content..martin luther king said that he didnt want people to identify by color..or see people first and foremeostas black..whether black is a positive image or not the very notion of your blackness counting for a great deal is what murtin luther dissaproved of when he said judge a man by his content, not his color….when kids are on a playground..they are notsayin in thier heads…hey im playin with a black person..they will notice the color difference..but no more then thell notice the colr difference between two kids..puppies are puppies..people are people. Help me out on this one MAYBEY IM NOT UNDERstanding. Isnt that how racsit whites though(not callin anyone here a racist) First and foremost im white, and i advertise myself as a white man and that is my identity…I beleiv people are much cooler and hold many mysteries within that are far more interesting than color..that being said..yall are very pretty skinned people..especially the really really really dark people.who are almost pitch black..

    “Mr. Obama’s campaign to the white house was filled with ”

    your right..but white get made fun of too i dont think thats important..when it comes to humor..people will be people and stupid jokes that are made by lower class people as myself are not to be taken seriously..unless these were actuall racist organizations makin it..i prob dont know what im talkin about as it is 7 am and i havent went to be and i have been

    one more thing though..liitle white girls not want them at their parties…My lil sis is white and had tons and tons of black kids at her did i when i was funy question..being like mixed races …and 1/3 black..can i claim blackness? nothing serious just a funny question..i did sum searchin.. im aroun funny i wonder what yall will tell me/

    Comment by John | Sunday, February 1, 2009 | Reply

  15. I do believe that we as black people need to be more self-assured of our identity and not be always willing to always throw our blackness to the curb every opportunity we get. Instead, we should use that opportunity, to promote our blackness, and be proud of it. I also agree that we must continue to confront racism instead of ignoring it, and we must quit labeling it as “special”. To ignore and label it as “special” , is to pretend racism doesn’t exist, and just gives racists another excuse to continue being one. Wonderful post brotherpeacemaker!

    Comment by Shaynuh | Sunday, April 5, 2009 | Reply

  16. In passing, I don’t believe that people who point out their bio-genetics which involve other memeber of our species are ignoring the problems which involve racism. You don’t have to always be negative about a problem in order to solve it. Its not a matter of “coping” with the issue either, we’ve all have been dealing with it so long, there are other strategies in the creative atmosphere to help us resolve. Generation X is dealing with it an imaginative way and it is special and it is beautiful. We should all be proud of our African and non-African bloodlines and show if off proudly as any artist would an original painting.

    Comment by Doris Jean | Friday, December 11, 2009 | Reply

  17. Thanks for the feedback Doris Jean,

    But the day cops run up to criminals and use your creative ways to solve problems, when cops tell the families of murder victims and other crimes that they are special and leave it at that, then that’s the day I’ll say that we can use your creative ways to solve our problems. Until then, we should treat the crime of discrimination exactly as what it is, a crime. I think we should use every opportunity to point to these crimes of hate and discrimination and call these people out for it.


    Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Friday, December 11, 2009 | Reply

  18. iam in a relationship with a man who is black and we have 3 beautiful children together and i do not promote either side to my children i don’t make them feel that they ar”special” either! we have experienced alot of racsim by both the white and black race and some of those remarks came from both side of the family! Iam irish,indian,and german,so when the opportunity knock for me to tell my chidren why we all look differnt i let know quickly that they have black,indian,irish,and german blood runing through their veins but who they are consist of the name that i gave them at birth!so for example if my 5 year old gets in a altercation with a racsist she let them know quickly that she is black,irish,indian,and german but she is olivia first!but i actually am researching how to cope with racsism and your blog did not help much.but thanks anyway

    Comment by amanda | Monday, July 5, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks for the feedback amanda,

      I’m sorry to disappoint you in your research on how to deal with racism. The fact that you have to do research in order to deal with racism is the first clue that you have no idea of what it means to be black or an appreciation for the black condition. Would you have to do research if your children were being attacked by a pedophile? I would guess chances are no. You’d confront the issue with common sense. But when it comes to issue of race, the last thing we use is common sense. And all that talk about all the different bloods running through veins is nice. I have European’s blood and Native American blood running through my veins as well. But I am visibly black. I am visibly different than the respected norm. It is this form of racism that I am referring to in my blog. You might be looking for ways to deal with the racism from people who don’t approve of the kind of blood is running through your veins. I’m talking about the type of racism that is more immediate and can retard the development of an entire community of people. For the sake of your children, good luck in your research.


      Comment by brotherpeacemaker | Tuesday, July 6, 2010 | Reply

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