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Quick Notes 200802

George Bush Didn’t Get The Memo

Friday, February 29, 2008
George Bush Didn’t Get The Memo

George Bush feigns surprise when questioned about four dollars a gallon gasoline. According to Mr. Bush, nobody told him. Just like nobody told him that al Queda was not in Iraq, the possibility of passenger planes being used as weapons of destruction, Scooter Libby was outing secret agents, Darfur was a problem, hurricane Katrina had its sites on New Orleans, the mortgage meltdown, Exxon/Mobile’s forty billion dollars net profit, Halliburton’s no bid contracts, and the perpetual condition of the cost of living going up. The question should be what does he know? I’m sure that would be a much shorter list.

Whoopi’s Oscar Snub

Thursday, February 28, 2008
Whoopi’s Oscar Snub

As far as I understand the Oscars featured a montage of highlights from eighty years of Oscar history but overlooks the first African American to host the Oscars, the first woman to host the Oscars, the first African American woman to host the Oscars, the first Oscar winner to host the Oscars, and the black woman who hosted the Oscars four times! I bet nobody would have overlooked her if she was Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie.

Miami Blackout

Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Miami Blackout!

Florida suffers a massive blackout yesterday. But officials say this isn’t anything to worry about. The system worked exactly as planned.

Supreme Court 20080226

Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Supreme Court Rules Again!

The Supreme Court rules in an eight to one vote that people cannot sue drug companies if the FDA approves the drugs. Now the drug companies don’t have to worry about any retribution from marketing drugs that injure people. All they have to say is, “the FDA said we could.”

Ralph Nader

Sunday, February 24, 2008
Ralph Nader Runs Again!

Third time is definitely not the charm!

State of the Black Union 2007

Saturday, February 23, 2008
The Black Union Goes Barack-less!

State of the Black Union? Barack Obama ain’t got time for that! Besides, the black vote is in the bag baby!

John and Cindy McCain

Thursday, February 21, 2008
Cindy McCain Is Proud!

Of course you’ve always been proud to be an American! America never stuck its foot up your ancestor’s collective ass. Your ancestry doesn’t have a history of people subjugating you for the color of your skin. Hell, you’re more likely the one subjecting others. The Furor himself would be proud of your Eva Von Aryan self!

Japanese Protest

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Another Rape In Okinawa!

Another accusation of an American soldier raping a young girl in Okinawa, Japan. Good thing our soldiers are there working hard to protect their freedom!

Fidel Castro

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Castro Resigns!

Fidel Castro is resigning as Cuba’s President! You know what that means! The end of the American embargo is sure to follow close behind! American companies will be lining up like vulture to take advantage! May god spare Cuba from America’s hyper capitalism.

Mad Cow Disease

Monday, February 18, 2008
Not Mad Cow!

There is a recall of seventy two thousand tons of beef because the animals were treated so cruelly, not because the meat is tainted. Yeah! Right! And we shoot satellites down because somebody might be dumb enough to inhale toxic rocket fuel! It’s not mad cow disease. It’s just safe for human consumption challenged!

Shooting Down Satellites

Friday, February 15, 2008
Star Wars

The US will shoot down a malfunctioning satellite in order to spare people from the hazard of rocket fuel! How much rocket fuel does a satellite have? You’d think they’d come up with a more believable excuse to justify protecting their secrets! It’s probably got some radioactive propulsion drive that would make a Cloverleaf if it hit the ocean!

Brokeback Republicans

Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine’s Day!

He wishes he knew how to quit you! Especially with your approval ratings in the pits. This Brokeback Republican moment is brought to you courtesy of Valentine’s Day!

GM Logo

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Largest Lost Ever Reported!

Thirty eight billion dollars and then some?!! I lost investments before. But damn! After the first bill you’d think they’d do something different!

Amy’s Big Win

Monday, February 11, 2008
Amy Winehouse Wins Big!

Amy Winehouse wins big! This should put to rest all that nonsense that people who do drugs won’t amount to anything! Who says doing drugs doesn’t pay?

Mitt Romney Drops Out

Saturday, February 9, 2008
Mitt Romney Drops Out!

Mitt Romney drops out! I don’t know what’s wrong with America these days. Has our economy gotten so bad that a hundred million dollars can’t even buy a presidency any more?

Mafia Crime Bust

Friday, February 8, 2008
Mafia Crime Bust!

Jackie The Nose along with sixty one other people from the Gambino, Genovese and Bonanno crime families face eighty charges, ranging from money laundering to illegal gambling and murder. In the immortal words of Don Zaluchi, “They’re animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.”

Chinese New Year

Thursday, February 7, 2008
Chinese New Year!

Happy New Year! May this year of the rat be the best for you and yours!

Deadly Tornadoes

Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Deadly Tornadoes In Tennessee!

This is a picture of a dormitory hit by a tornado last night in Tennessee. Several states were hit by a string of seriously violent tornadoes. And we’re barely out of January. Year round tornadoes are right around the corner. And year round hurricanes won’t be too far behind.

Snow In Los Angeles

Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Snow In Los Angeles!

Looks like that last snow fall in Los Angeles.

Blizzard in China

Monday, February 4, 2008
Blizzards in China!

A weeks long blizzard in China is costing the country seven point five billion dollars so far. They sure respond to the weather like a super power. And if the congestion doesn’t convince you maybe the fact that they will continue to blanket their country with smog generating coal power plants will.

Snipes Under Arrest

Saturday, February 2, 2008
Wesley Snipes Not Guilty!

OK Wesley! You can put your arms down for now. But just don’t get too comfortable. You’re still facing a couple of misdemeanor charges.

Obama Hillary

Friday, February 1, 2008
This Must Be Reverse Discrimination!

At least they were a lot more civil towards each other last night. Maybe a little too civil.

Friday, February 1, 2008 - Posted by | Life, Quick Notes

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