Asabagna The Peacemaker

If I had a dime for every time the misses and I got into a heated debate or argument or whatever passes for verbal combat then I would have a lot of dimes, much more than I would care to have.  And there are times when sparks are flying that all kinds of bombshells are dropping and things will be brought up that are totally out of left field.  Sometimes nerves are rubbed raw and emotions bubble up to the surface from seriously dark depths.  And after the argument reaches is climax, slowly things start to subside.  It might take a while to unload some adrenaline.  Sometimes it takes a little time to push away bad feelings.  But ultimately we are able to put everything back into perspective and move on.   We’re trying to raise a kid and maintain a commitment to each other.  We don’t have much of a choice.  Besides, the value of our relationship is worth more than these arguments.  I have to admit, she’s much better at it than I.

Recently I got into a heated debate with thefreeslave on the AfroSpear.  What started off as a discussion about Caster Semenya and the appropriateness of calling her gender into question broke down into an argument complete with personal accusations and counter accusations.  More than ready to give with each take, I have to admit I was doing my part to ratchet up the rhetoric with each reply.  I’m a this and this?  Well you’re a that and that.  I’m a what and what?  Well you’re a such and such. Back and forth the replies flew for more than just a few days before reason kicked in and all further hostilities were neutralized.

It would have been nice for me to say that it was I who snapped into something that resembled reason and was able to step back from the precipice of mutually assured derision.  But I was too caught up in the argument to let wisdom and good sense kick in.  I was wasting my time and energy, waiting for a response so I could use a line I just so happened to have spent the last hour or two trying to conjure up.  It was the wise Asabagna who managed to pull the fuses out our explosives.  And when the smoke cleared and I could once again see the landscape, in the end I had to admit that the argument really changed nothing, convinced nobody of anything and the whole debate was pointless and useless and for naught except the satisfaction and defense of ego.

But in the end of it all, one thing was able to recognize was the support I had from Asabagna.  When he pulled the trigger on his neutralizer he wrote that even though he and I don’t always agree on points of view, he respects my decision to disagree with him.  It’s not about convincing each other who is right and who is wrong.  We are free to be.  And when a discussion becomes a heated debate between the two of us, we don’t have to devolve into personal attacks.  Especially when we know we need each other, if not for anything else, just to know we are not in this thing we call life alone.

When Asabagna said that he often disagrees with what I write, I had to laugh.  No one might believe this, but just the day before I was talking to the misses, fuming about the contempt people in the AfroSpear have for each other, wishing more people were like Asabagna.  Why?  Because I know we don’t see eye to eye on everything but I don’t feel like Asabagna makes his points by attacking me or my character.  And even though I often think he’s wrong, a lot more often than he thinks, I know he is honest in his opinion and doesn’t hold scorn on others who see things from a different perspective.  Asabagna is a police officer and is much more supportive of police than I.  But considering his experience with being a police officer I have to admit, that when it comes to the subject of police interaction and the black community, I realize that I will benefit if I listen to him.  I might not agree with his perspective.  But I cannot simply dismiss it as inconsequential either.

In the end of all of this, I learned that the respect that I have for Asa is mutual.  When I was starting to think that this epitome of dysfunction called the black community can go straight to hell and I don’t need this crap, it was Asabagna that reminded me that although we argue we should be able to put that behind us for a bigger purpose.  I kind of hope one day I can return the favor and lay down a serious epiphany on him.  Although I must admit, he is much better at this than I.  Asabagna once said that his name means hunter.  A second definition might be peacemaker.

But getting back to the misses!  Although we might argue like a cat and a dog, to the world, we are one.  I know I can count on her to have my back.  She knows she can do the same with me.  We might not always agree.  We might not always agree to disagree.  But I know in the end that when I need her to be there, when she sees that I need help, she will be there.  And those debating skills that we hone on each other?  Lord better help the person that tries to cross us.  It would be nice if more people in the black community were willing to give such support.

Quick Notes 200909

Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Facebook Pulls Pole

Facebook shuts down a user-generated poll asking “Should Obama be killed?” And people continue to claim that this is nothing more than the environment of politics these days.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sonic Cannons At The G20

The Daly Show with Jon Stewart just reported that authorities are using sonic cannons to keep the anarchist in line at the G-20 Summit. You know what kind of music anarchist listen to? They might already have a sonic cannon ring tone. Sonic cannons are probably little more than loud speakers to them.

Monday, September 28, 2009
The Income Gap Widens

The recession has hit middle income and poor families hardest, widening the economic gap between the richest and poorest Americans as rippling job layoffs ravaged household budgets.

Sunday, September 27, 2009
Six Flags Under Water

This is a picture of one of the roller coasters rising out of the flood water at the Six Flags Under Water amusement park in Atlanta.  Now that’s what I call a rainy night in Georgia.

Saturday, September 26, 2009
Annie Le Still Gets Attention

Former Yale student Annie Le, found dead in the basement wall of the medical building she worked in, quickly got the attention of the American public when she went missing and still gets the attention of the public today, unlike Mitrice Richardson who went missing right after the authorities got involved.

Friday, September 25, 2009
Ovarian Cancer Awareness

Somebody’s wearing a little something in honor of Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month!

Thursday, September 24, 2009
Ovarian Cancer Awareness

Still Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month! Just wanted you to know!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Bill Clinton Says There Is No Racism

Former President Bill Clinton says that there is no racism in the opposition against President Barack Obama. He says the opposition against healthcare now is no different than the opposition against healthcare when Mr. Clinton tried. Funny, in the eight years Mr. Clinton was President, nobody yelled he was a liar during an address of the full Congress. It only took eight months for it to happen to Mr. Obama.

Monday, September 21, 2009
George Bush Likes Not Being In Spotlight

Former President George Bush says that he enjoys not being in the spotlight. But I bet he doesn’t enjoy it near half as much as I do.

Sunday, September 20, 2009
Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month and I’m just now getting the memo!

Saturday, September 19, 2009
Pelosi Plants Ideas In People’s Heads

People bring guns to town halls where President Barack Obama makes appearances and hold up signs with implicit threats of violence, but conservatives are pointing the finger at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi saying her plea for civility the other day actually put the idea of violence in people’s heads.

Friday, September 18, 2009
Pelosi Worries

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi expresses fear and concern over the unnecessarily harsh and angry tone of politics. Ms. Pelosi says that we at risk of inciting violence like the unrest that led to high profile assassinations and slayings in the sixties and seventies.

Thursday, September 17, 2009
Healthcare Reform Bill

The headlines said that the new healthcare reform bill recently released is industry’s favorite so far. That’s probably because of all the compromising efforts to make sure it really doesn’t do much to reform healthcare.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Obama Slams Kanye

President Barack Obama slams Kanye West as a jackass for his behavior at the Video Music Awards. Looks like the White House better get ready for another beer summit.

Monday, September 14, 2009
Kanye West Apologizes

Kanye West apologized to Taylor Swift for his unruly outburst during the Video Music Awards. Does anyone else think he staged the whole thing to bring attention to his appearance on Jay Leno?

Sunday, September 13, 2009
Serena Williams Melts Down

Tennis player Serena Williams suffers a serious melt down after losing the first set to Belgian player Kim Clijsters in their U.S. Open semifinal.

Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11

Has it been eight years already?

Thursday, September 10, 2009
Hubble

Somebody kicked the Hubble space telescope into high gear.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Caster Semenya Gets A Makeover

Caster Semenya gets a makeover and appears on the cover of South Africa’s You magazine.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Education Secretary Arne Duncan

Education Secretary Arne Duncan bemoans thirty percent nationwide dropout rate. But President Barack Obama telling our nation’s children to stay in school is the real crime here.

Monday, September 7, 2009
West Bank Expansion

A Palestinian man watches as a bulldozer removes the ruins of a building bombed by Israeli aircraft under suspicion that it was by Palestinians to access a tunnel intended for cross-border attacks in Israel. Israel approved the building of nearly five hundred settler homes in the occupied territory.

Sunday, September 6, 2009
The Station Fire

Almost two hundred fifty square miles of land has burned!

Friday, September 4, 2009
SEC Bungled Madoff Investigations

A recently released report by the Securities and Exchange Commission inspector general, David Kotz, paints in detail how the investigations of Bernard Madoff were bungled over a sixteen year period with repeated failures to act on credible complaints from outsiders. But we got Michael Vick for killing dogs!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wildfires by Satellite

A satellite photo of the wildfires that continue to plague California. Over a two hundred square miles of land has been scorched. The smoke form the fire is thick enough to be seen from space.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Cosby In Detroit

72-year-old actor, comedian and activist Bill Cosby loaned the Detroit school district his celebrity as the city tries to hold off plummeting enrollment. I wonder if anyone thought about working to assure that the students had jobs to look forward to so they can put their education to work.