It has been twenty five years since the release of the epic Michael Jackson album Thriller. Hot off of the success of his first album Off The Wall, produced with the help of Quincy Jones, Thriller didn’t just break but demolished all kinds of record sales records. No album or CD has been able to even come close to the phenomenon that Thriller was. And the way CD sales are dwindling down no album ever will.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller was the first song by a black artist to be played on the video music channel MTV. Prior to this, Michael Jackson was told that he need not apply. MTV was going in a different direction and Michael Jackson wasn’t exactly what the executives in charge of MTV had in mind for their image. Prior to the release of Thriller, MTV had never featured a black music artist. The year was 1983. It’s not like black people weren’t making decent music at the time. At this time, Stevie Wonder had just released one of his greatest pieces of work, Hotter Than July. Roger Trottman, The Time, and Price were considered the fresh sound in music. The OJays, the Whispers, and the soulful sound of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes were old school. Black musical artist were popping out of the woodwork. But MTV had an image where black people need not apply. The J Giles Band can sing about Angel’s Being a Centerfold and David Lee Roth can sing about the fact that He Ain’t Got Nobody, but black people were about as welcome as a church lady in a social club in the big easy. And people were okay with this.
However, Michael Jackson wasn’t okay with it. He wasn’t going to let the rather narrow minded bigots stand in the way of him becoming the first black person to break these pointless racial ceilings. Mr. Jackson worked to make Thriller, the song, the video, and the album, a phenomenon that MTV could not ignore. He succeeded with phenomena to spare. Billy Jean was the first single off that album. The song was such genius that so many women were so convinced that they were the fictitious Billy Jean that Mr. Jackson had to hire a law firm just to deny their allegations in various courtrooms. This was followed by Human Nature, Pretty Young Thing, The Way You Make Me Feel, and the phenomenal Thriller. The video created a new standard for the execution of videos. Michael Jackson had succeeded.
Since then MTV has changed its tune and now features black artist regularly. Twenty five years later this music channel could easily be considered a front and center player in the consistent portrayal of the gangsta rap culture that has become so heavily intertwined into the black community. Programs like Pimp My Ride are regular features. The last time I actually bothered to watch an MTV program was My Super Sweet 16 featuring Darnell Robinson, the young teenage son of Sugar Hill Studios executive Leland Robinson. The conspicuous consumption of money and luxury and lavishness was the only thing the show had to offer viewers. And the number of people who promote a gangsta rap star lifestyle with gold chains and diamonds, fine automobiles, houses big enough to be Hilton hotels, while wearing oversized T shirts and sagging jeans grows nearly every time MTV Cribs makes a new show.
It’s a sucker bet that the black people who are featured as part of these ostentatious display of pseudo urban style materialism usually featured in some wealthy suburb are thankful to Michael Jackson for his part in breaking the MTV color barrier. But how did the black community benefit from the elimination of this color barrier? MTV has evolved over the years from excluding black people entirely to exploiting only a narrow image of black urban music to perpetuate black, stereotypical images. MTV has evolved from a white controlled corporate entity saying nothing good is worth showing out of the black community into a white controlled corporate entity saying nothing good is all that’s worth seeing out of the black community. Either way MTV does its fair share of damage to the image of the black urban community.
Too many of our black children and impressionable young black adults want to emulate the lifestyles of black urban success being promoted to them. Too many people don’t realize that all too often the images and characters they see being paraded on television on mediums like MTV are just caricatures and parodies of black people. Too often young people want to become the images they see. And then, in the biggest irony of all, we will turn around and blame these impressionable people for wanting to become the images that they see on television.
No one is trying to say that Michael Jackson or some other black person should not have broken through the barriers that kept black people from appearing on MTV. But all too often when the black community opens itself up to opportunities of integration with components of American culture that are obviously intended to exclude black people, we may not be too happy with the results. Mr. Jackson and Quincy Jones and others could have banded together to launch their own music channel. But instead of thinking grand and independent our black celebrities think more along the lines of integration and assimilation. But then again, if BET is any indication, the assimilation would come regardless. If money is involved, it looks like the black community is destined to lose.
I was sound asleep last night when I awoke to a deep thumping noise outside the apartment building. It sounded as if it was far, far away initially. But it steadily got closer. It shook the windows. The furniture started to shake with each thump. It started off as a little shake initially. But then it turned into a steady vibration. If I didn’t know better I would’ve sworn it was the footsteps of some kind of Godzilla or Cloverleaf or some other mega monster phenomenon coming to attack the city. But it was just somebody in an old Suburban or Impala giving his car stereo a workout in the middle of the night. The thumps turned into a rhythmic explosion of pure base. The stereo was so powerful that it not only triggered every car with an alarm two blocks over. The noise from this car could trigger house alarms as well. And the car was still a half a block away.
As the car came closer to the house the windows shook and the curtains billowed. The baby started to stir in his crib. The bed started to vibrate its way across the bedroom’s hardwood floor. It was as if the Earth itself had developed a heartbeat. The steady explosions of sound had reached its crescendo as the car passed in front of the building. And then, after what seemed like forever, the volume finally started to subside. But, the Doppler Effect from the car moving away from the apartment made the base sound even deeper. The baby’s mother had picked him up and that kept him from waking up completely. No thanks to the inconsiderate bastard with the uranium 235 powered car stereo. We took solace in the fact that whoever it was doing their best to wake the dead was doing so much damage to his or her hearing that not even the hearing aids of the future powered by dilithium crystals are going to help.
If somebody had some cash to invest in a future business I strongly suggest buying stock in a hearing aid manufacturer or in the construction of more schools for the deaf. With so many of our young people doing their best to bring attention to themselves and their automobile with annoying levels of volume playing the latest music fad it’s bound to be a sure thing. No one with average hearing could enjoy the song being played because of the solid wall of sound bombarding all the senses. Sound so loud you can actually see it as pulses of light. Now, I know that it’s nothing more than the body reacting to these loud noises with symptoms of a migraine. But nevertheless, it should give you an idea of how unnecessarily thunderous this racket can be.
And it’s not just a hip hop phenomenon. Last night it probably was the latest release from Dick Dickey Dick or Foolio or The Grand Pooh Bah. However, not too long ago, back when I was living in a predominantly white area, you would hear a lot of the gangsta crap. But every now and then I would be startled awake in the middle of the night from some song that would have been an appropriate replacement for the dueling banjos tune from the movie Deliverance featuring Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty among others. It’s as if all of our young adults, and some old idiots as well, are hell bent on some form of self mutilation. Having that ear splitting smack reverberating down one’s ear canal is like looking at the sun through binoculars on a cloudless day at noon. The bright lights might be pretty but it wouldn’t take long before the vision is irreparably damage. Or maybe it would be like sticking one’s tongue on a popsicle of sulfuric acid with little shards of glass imbedded to enhance the flavor. It might be the ultimate in tangy. But rest assured you can kiss your taste buds goodbye.
We have gotten to a point that many of us are taking our health for granted. But as we continue to age our bodies are susceptible to all kinds of failures and weakening abilities all on its own. Most people’s vision will blur to the point that glasses or some other vision correction aid become inevitable. The tongue’s ability to sense flavors weakens to a point where everything tastes like pooh. Bones weaken and become brittle forcing many of us to get some form of joint replacement in an effort to increase mobility or just to ease pain. The acuity of hearing is one of those things that dissipate over time as well. To do anything to accelerate these processes is truly foolish, counterintuitive, and counterproductive.
Today, some of us are spending vast sums of money to purchase stereophonic equipment capable of volumes measured in kilo ohms. Football stadiums would be lucky to be able to generate such levels of sound. But tomorrow, many of these same people will be spending vast amounts of money on hearing devices and hearing treatments just so they can hear a conversation or a baby at play or some of the softest sound that are a normal part of living. A lot of people will be in the future wishing they had taken better care of their hearing. That’s only natural. However, way too many people will be in the future wondering why they spent so much of their hard earned money on a stereo actively destroying their ability to hear and regretting having done such a great job.
There is a Yellowbook commercial on the airwaves featuring David Carridine of Kill Bill fame. Three men are sitting at a conference table trying to come up with a way to drum up business for their company. One of these men is black, the other two are white. One of the white men throws out the question of where to spend their advertising dollars. The other white guy suggests that they ask the advertising guru played by Mr. Carridine. One of the white guys peppers the ad guru with questions. The answer to all of their questions is Yellowbook. The black guy never utters a peep. The commercial pans to the following quarter and the same three men are now playing music in the office and dancing it up. They are celebrating because their [sales] have soared. Now the black man is front and center and the white men are in the background. The black man is doing what black people do best, dance, jig, and celebrate. The black man offers nothing in the way of how to do business. The black man is just the entertainment. And I used to like David Carridine.
My eleven month old son was in the room when this commercial came on. His mother covered his eyes so he couldn’t see the commercial. We are not ready to let the corporate culture have unfettered access to his psyche just yet. The baby needs an opportunity to find out who he is before others try to influence who he should be. We don’t have a fear that he’ll become a jigaboo ready to dance at any and all opportunities. Our fear is that he will subtly be programmed to trust white people to take care of business and to rely on black people for the monkey business. This is the clever brainwashing that leads people to accept as true the fallacy that black people are not as intellectually equipped as our white counterparts regardless of education or experience. If we get a job or if we are accepted at a school of higher learning, it is only because of some illegal affirmative action program that unfairly favors minorities at the expense of white people. Poor white people can’t even find jobs any more because of all the partiality.
My partner and I don’t want baby boy to learn anything about the hip hop culture that the corporate music industry wants to hammer down people’s psychological throats. White people like Bill O’Reilly have allowed themselves to be programmed to think black people carry pistols everywhere we go and are quick to anger at the most benign slight or misunderstanding. Some black are. But so are some white people.
There was a scene in the movie Crash where Cameron Thayer, played by Terrence Howard, was directing a movie or a television show or a commercial for all I know. Mr. Thayer and his crew just shot a scene and called it a wrap. Fred, played by Tony Danza, was somewhat dissatisfied with the shoot. One of the black actors spoke too articulately for Fred’s personal taste. Fred pulled Mr. Thayer to the side. Fred told Cameron that the scene needed another take. The black actor needed to be more black with his character portrayal. Being a black man Mr. Thayer is visibly taken aback by what Fred was implying. We never see who or what Fred was, but he was obviously somebody who had the pull to yank the director’s chain. Mr. Thayer reluctantly submits and calls the crew back for another take so that the black actor can be more black and slur his words or use a slang or just sound more black. The character has to jigaboo just a bit so that everybody would accept the notion that the character is the typical African American male.
The idea of coherent speech from black people is an exception is reinforced through fiction like the movie Crash as well as in our reality. It was a well known joke by Chris Rock that Collin Powel is a black man that a lot of white people think “speaks so well”. Senator Joe Biden described Senator Barack Obama as “clean and articulate”. I guess Mr. Biden was pleasantly surprised to find that Mr. Obama wasn’t funky and mush mouthed. And the previously mentioned Bill O’Reilly interrupted his daily television program on the FOX network to tell America how well black people behaved at the famous black Sylvia’s restaurant in Washington, DC. He was surprised to see no black people were yelling for their “mother fucking tea”.
On the flipside of this coin, the black community has allowed the dominant culture to define what it means to be black. Black people do not run the gamut but are narrowly defined by some of the most unbecoming of parameters. Black people are loud, intellectually inferior, incompetent, lazy, unethical, dishonorable, and more, or less depending on your point of view. Black men and women are supposed to be sexually starved and have insatiable libidos. The gangsta rap culture developed by the music industry does much to describe life in the black community in a lot of people’s eyes. However, one has to wonder what type of culture black people would have if we didn’t have the television, radio, magazines, movies, newspapers, and all the other mediums of propaganda doing their part to shape our view of ourselves.
Unfortunately, no matter how successful my partner and I are able to keep the influence of corporate America from our child so that he could learn his own identity, chances are overwhelming that he will still grow up in a world that will continue to see African Americans as stereotypical caricatures of human behavior. People like Joe Biden will see him and expect him to be funky and mush mouthed and yelling for his mother fucking tea.
The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Too many times I have heard members from the racially generic dominant culture that is disproportionately white say that they could care less about conditions in the black community or about black equality with respect to employment and educational opportunities. A visitor to my blog made the argument some time ago that when families across America sit down to discuss whatever during dinner the last thing they discuss is anything pertaining to the black community. This visitor to my blog was trying to explain America’s infatuation with white women who disappear without a trace while black women disappear without notice. It’s not that the dominant community has something against black people. There is no malice. The simple fact is that these people just don’t care.
People are constantly making the decision not to interfere in the perpetual struggle between the oppressed and the oppressor. A lot of people don’t want to look like they are choosing sides. But by default people who don’t get involved are actually choose to side with the stronger of the two. Washing one’s hands of helping anyone who is being dominated is to give the dominator support. You are either with the people who are being exploited or you are against them.
And this attitude is reflected in the solution promoted to solve the black community’s problems. Lift yourself up by your bootstrap. Exercise some personal responsibility. God helps those who help themselves. And all other kinds of rhetoric that conveys the message that nothing is socially wrong and that the problem is nothing more than a personal issue. Things would change for the black community if people in the black community would just change their personal habits. If black people would just talk to their black children and ask how their day went everything would be fine.
The dominant community has always viewed black people as less than white people. Our ancestors had to work to be recognized as free people who are not destined to serve white people or to be owned by white people. A lot of people saw this struggle and simply washed their hands of the issue until it began to affect them. For many people, the only evil associated with the enslavement of black people was the fact that some southern states flaunted their institutionalized slavery in the eye of the federal government. The civil war boiled down to a question of whether or not this country existed as a confederacy or as a federation. Even Abraham Lincoln wanted to wash his hands of the issue of slavery in the southern states.
Black people fought for the right to be considered human. Black people had to fight for the right to be considered fully human by white people instead of just three fifths. Black people had to fight for the right to vote. Black people had to fight against Jim Crow laws, and conditions of separate and far from equal. Black people had to fight for the right to work. And all this fighting that the black community was doing was against a white community intent on the subjugation of black people. It was decided that it was illegal for companies to partake in the American dream but then blatantly turn around and exclude black people from participation based on nothing more than racial prejudices. The key word is “blatant”. If you can practice your discrimination so sneakily that it cannot be denied in a court of law then have at it. Just don’t get caught.
Other than blatant forms of racism people don’t want to get involved. Interestingly, the blatant racist is not even close to being as destructive as the undercover racist. Somebody yelling at the top of their lungs how they don’t want niggers around their place of business can be picked out of crowd a hundred mile away. But the person who smoothly denies any racial preferences while using a variety of techniques and excuses to keep black people away from their business or in inferior roles can be much more devious and cunning in their use of legalese and status quo and racial stereotypes to manipulate perceptions and obscure the obvious.
As a nation, we’ve actually accepted this behavior to the point where our Supreme Court now says that the best way to combat the specter of racial inequality is to not look at race. People support presidential candidates that promise to do their best to remove laws designed to minimize racial discrimination. Racial discrimination will cease to be a crime and this carries a great deal of appeal for a lot of people. Racial discrimination is the only crime where our society takes such a dysfunctional approach to combat the problem. We can’t rectify pass indiscretions because affirmative action programs are a form of reverse discrimination. But no one says that locking up a criminal is reverse incarceration or to levy fines is reverse penalization. We only care about doing the absolute minimum to appear politically correct.
In all honesty people couldn’t care any less about the black community. Slavery happened so long ago that black people need to give it a rest and quit talking about it. No one is alive who had slaves and no one is alive who was a slave during America’s institutionalized slavery. But, these are the same people who go to church every Sunday to hear how god parted the Red Sea for Moses three thousand years ago or to hear about Jesus two thousand years ago. These are the same people that go to school to hear about the Greeks and Romans from so many centuries in the past. No one ever says Alexander the Great is dead so give him a rest already. Nobody tells Jews to quit talking about the holocaust. But black people need to quit living in the past. Such indifference is really telling about the way we approach the black experience.
As a Star Trek fan, I enjoyed the character of Guinan, the mysterious but wise hostess of the Ten Forward lounge on the starship Enterprise D captained by Jean Luc Picard. Guinan was always good for a word of advice, sometimes treading on counselor Deanna Troi’s job function. But nevertheless, the character of Guinan, played by Whoopi Goldberg, was a welcome addition to the Star Trek: The Next Generation cast.
However, as a person I have never been a fan of Caryn Elaine Johnson, the woman better known as Whoopi Goldberg. The woman burst onto the scene in the early eighties and has never done anything to affiliate herself with the black community. She talked her then boyfriend Ted Danson to show up at a news conference in black face and laughed at the slight to the black community despite the obvious lack of taste or of good racial sense. And when people, black and white alike, express outrage at her tasteless prank the ditsy broad has the nerve to get upset.
The closest Ms. Johnson/Goldberg has ever come to portraying a positive relationship with a black person was the suggestion of a lesbian affair with the recovering alcoholic Shug Avery, played by Margaret Avery, in the movie The Color Purple. However, Ms. Johnson/Goldberg has portrayed a number of positive relationships with white men in movies like Jumping Jack Flash working to help rescue the British secret agent Jack, Made in America where her daughter was fathered by Ted Danson, Corrina Corrina where she developed a relationship with the widowed father played by Ray Liotta, and Fatal Beauty where she developed a relationship with Sam Elliot’s character Mark Marshak. And let’s not forget the cozy relationship she developed with Captain Picard, played by Patrick Stewart, on the Star Trek series. There’s plenty of evidence of Ms. Johnson/Goldberg distancing herself from the black community and embracing the dominant culture.
By just about any conceivable measure, Ms. Johnson/Goldberg has enjoyed a very successful career. At one time she was one of the hottest commodities in the entertainment industry. She was so hot that the people who call the shots at the Oscars wanted Ms. Johnson/Goldberg to host their show. She became the first African American to host the Oscars. She became the first woman to host the Oscars. She became the first African American woman to host the Oscars. She was the first Oscar winner to host the Oscars. She hosted the Oscars four different times, that’s one in every twenty shows. And yet, her achievements don’t make the cut as a significant event worth mentioning in a short mosaic dedicated to some of the greatest moments in Oscar history.
The oversight was taken personally and Ms. Johnson/Goldberg had to visibly fight back the tears of disappointment during a recent episode of The View. Somebody made the point that other host didn’t appear in the tribute. Steve Martin didn’t make the cut. But then again, Mr. Martin’s appearance as a two times Oscar host didn’t simultaneously break through racial and gender barriers as well. There was an apology from Oscar producer Gil Cates. And that made things all better for most people. However, it was obvious that Ms. Johnson/Goldberg found the apology significantly inadequate.
But there is a chance for Ms. Johnson/Goldberg to learn an important lesson here. In her perpetual push to align herself with the dominant community Ms. Johnson/Goldberg has divorced herself from the black community and has forgotten her roots. What goes around comes around and Ms. Johnson/Goldberg got a very public come around. Maybe at the next Oscars, somebody like Ted Danson will go up on stage in black face and locks and call themselves Whoopi Goldberg. I’m sure that would be good for a solid laugh or two by somebody. This black woman has spent practically her entire life chasing her dreams of assimilation in the dominant community and is now upset with the dominant community because it didn’t give her the recognition she felt she deserved for being so loyal to the status quo.
Ms. Johnson/Goldberg worked hard to pull herself up by her bootstrap. She paid her dues and did whatever it took to gain the attention of the public. She turned her back on black America a long time ago and never looked back. As a formerly hot commodity she has cooled off considerably. People don’t even bother to notice her accomplishments any more. It’s almost as if she has to face facts and come to terms with the condition of being black in America. It is disappointing when you look back on your career and know that you have made so many notable accomplishments. But those accomplishments don’t mean a thing when you’re competing to be noticed with the more readily identifiable members of the dominant community who claim to be racially generic but are predominantly white. The fact that Ms. Johnson/Goldberg was overlooked is remarkably similar to the way she has overlooked the African American community. Some of us may call it karma.
Sometime ago somebody posed the question of what makes for good quality sex. What is it that will take a woman to the peak of orgasm and keep her there for the longest maximum of time? I had been asking that question myself for the vast majority of my years. Even as a kid I wondered this question. Like most guys I thought that it was the size of the penis that determined the pleasure. I heard all the clichés about it being the motion in the ocean or it’s not the size of the bait but how you wiggle your worm. But I thought that was just talk to make guys with little member feel better about their package. I still felt insecure about myself. But things started to change when I went off to college.
Back in school there was this one guy that had a penis so large that it would make a donkey jump back and say “damn!” I’ll call him Milton to protect the identity of this enhanced organ mutant. Milton and I stayed on the same floor on the same wing of one of the men dormitories on campus. I remember the first time I saw his member. I was in the shower getting ready to start the day when he walked in and disrobed. When Milton pulled his towel off that thing rolled out like one of those whistles you blow at a birthday party. Did I say blow? Not that anaconda. A woman, or man for that matter, who would be brave enough to take that monster on would have to have one of those dislocating jaws like one of those snakes that can swallow a baby hippopotamus whole. And they’d better have an esophagus that could handle a Mack truck. To say that I felt inadequate is laughably inadequate in itself. I sulked all the way back to my room convinced I’d never be able to please a woman the way Milton could. I didn’t realize how right I was.
As far as I know Milton got only one female on campus pregnant that resulted in a child. The woman dropped out of school after the freshman year I think. It may have been her sophomore year. But she came back a year later. A year after that, she brought their daughter to school. Milton had always claimed that the little girl wasn’t his. But there was no way that baby looked exactly like him just by accident. There was no question that this girl was Milton’s daughter. I am convinced that if the mother took Milton to court all she had to do was show that little girl to the judge and she’d get anything she wanted. No DNA testing was even close to being necessary.
I saw this one comedienne who talked about men with these super sized organs. The woman said she didn’t want to feel like she was giving birth every time she was having sex. It was good for a laugh. But years and years after college Milton and his mutant organ haunted me. No amount of Viagara or Cialis or any other penis enhancement cocktail or operation was ever going to give me anything resembling his size. So I had to focus on technique. I read a few books and I talked to a few women. I had a couple of girlfriends who had never been with a man hung like a horse so it was no big deal.
However, my luck ran out and I started dating one woman who had a relationship with a well endowed man. It wasn’t an issue initially. We had dated for several weeks before we decided to get so intimate. But when we did do the bone dance, despite my best effort, she was less than thrilled. I was crushed. I had to go back to the drawing board. My girlfriend was not beyond helping me. In fact, she recommended a book to me. I think it was The Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men. Duh! It stands to reason that if a woman with no member between her legs can turn tricks on other women and teach these techniques to men then they should know a little something about what they’re talking about.
There were a couple chapters about technique and things of that nature. There are things to do with your tongue that are extremely helpful. And there are things to do with your fingers that can heighten the sensation. The book is helpful for developing these techniques of foreplay and the aftermath. The book is definitely worth adding to your library for these steps alone. But the one thing that I took away from that book is the way women approach sex. Generally speaking, for women, it’s not the angle of the dangle that’s important or the mass of the ass. It’s not the size of the penis that’s important. It’s not even the motion of the ocean or how you wiggle your worm that’s the most important factor. I found out that the key to having good sex was to have a good, mutually respectful relationship. When a good woman felt secure in her relationship, when a good woman felt secure in herself and felt like her partner was someone who truly cared about her, she would be more capable of enjoying the sexual experience in ways she may have never thought possible.
After reading this book and putting the methods into practice I never saw myself as sexually inadequate again. The woman who introduced me to the book and I broke up. But it wasn’t because of inadequate sex or because we didn’t care about each other. We had different expectations and incompatible goals. The woman I’m with now is happier than any ditsy broad appearing on any Enzyte commercial with a doofy grin. Milton can keep his King Kong sized dong and do his sexual conquest thing, rip a woman’s cervix open, and go about his merry way denying the children he fathers. But that’s never been my mode of operation. Besides, if he ever got a serious hard on he’d probably black out from the sudden loss of blood from the brain as well as the other parts of his body.
When it comes to enjoying a healthy sexual relationship I’ve learned that it is more important to make sure that your partner enjoys your company outside the bedroom as well as inside the bed. Milton may have an African super python for a package. And that thing sure is scary looking. But trust me, I’m pretty sure my little black mamba is a lot more lethal.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Clinton Refuses To Quit
Ms. Clinton says it’s ridiculous for people to call for her to quit running. This is the same woman that suggested Mr. Obama quit when he was the one that had won more states and more delegates and more votes so that he could become her running mate as Vice President!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Green Zone Attack
A helicopter flies past a column of smoke coming out of the heavily fortified Green Zone that houses the American embassy and the Iraqi government offices in Baghdad. Good thing the surge is working so well!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tim Wise Essay
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Ice Shelf Collapses
Some two hundred twenty square miles of the Wilkins Ice Shelf has collapsed in Antarctica and an ice shelf about the size of Connecticut is hanging by a thread because of global warming according to the British Antarctic Survey.
Monday, March 24, 2008
It is official! Four thousand American lives have been wasted in the conflict in Iraq! And we as a nation are not through sacrificing our own in this stupid war!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Happy tons of sugar in the shape of a rabbit and all the sugared fixings day!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The blog is one year old today! It really has been a year already?
Friday, March 21, 2008
Happy Jesus Lynching Day!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
More Flooding In the Midwest
Motorists turn around at a barricade along a state highway closed by floodwaters in the Midwest where storms dropped six to ten inches of rain. Just the latest example of once in an eon weather that is appearing on a weekly basis.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Happy 5th Anniversary
Happy fifth anniversary of America illegally invading a sovereign country!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Right to Bear Arms
The Supreme Court hears arguments about the people’s right to bear arms. But somehow, this crystal clear statement is being interpreted to mean that the government represents the people and therefore the people don’t need guns. I’m willing to bet that the high court will decide that the people are not entitled to bear arms.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Bear and Stearns Is Kaput
What a difference a weekend makes! JP Morgan Chase is buying Bear and Stearns for just $2 a share!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Bear and Stearns’ Days Are Numbered
Last year their stock was trading at almost $160. They started the week at $69.75. Yesterday their stock was trading as low as $26.85. They had to get a bailout from JP Morgan Chase. Their days of operating independently are numbered. Just the latest high profile victim of America’s economic malfeasance.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The Governor’s Mistress
Kristen and Spitzer kissing in a tree!
But seriously does this look like seven diamonds? And even if she does, is she worth losing your job as Governor as well as all the public humiliation? And even if she is, is paying her for sex worth going to jail over?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Obama Takes Mississippi
Senator Obama takes Mississippi! The race for delegates between him and Senator Clinton gets even wider! But if he gives up now she’ll offer him the vice presidency!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tucker Carlson Cancelled
Tucker Carlson cancelled?!? There really is a god!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Pharmaceuticals In Water
Mmmm. Doesn’t that look refreshing!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Thousands of Jobs Lost
Sixty three thousand jobs lost! And that’s just the official number. Thousands of retail jobs, construction jobs, and manufacturing jobs. The jobs have disappeared across the board. But it’s okay because we all have three hundred dollar tax rebates coming that will fix everything. Everybody will be able to go out and buy about ninety gallons of gas provided the price doesn’t go up again before the checks arrive.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Attack On New York
Fears of another terrorist attack on New York. But if this was meant to be a terrorist attack, would it not be better to have it happen in the middle of the day? Without any doubt there will be more of these “terrorist attacks” as we get closer to the general election.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Bill Gates Slips To Number Three
Bill Gates slips from being the number one richest person in the world all the way down to number three! You’d pray too if it happened to you.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Living Goddess Retires
Sajani Shakya, the eleven year old Nepali girl worshipped by many Buddhists and Hindus as a “Kumari”, or living goddess, retires after nine years in her divine position following a request from her family. I wonder if she would even care to know who Bret Favre is.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
More Voting Today
Texas, Ohio, Vermont, and Rhode Island vote today! After eleven straight wins Senator Obama appears hard to deny. But Senator Clinton vows to continue regardless the outcome.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Ahmadenijad In Iraq
Now that President Bush got Saddam Hussein out of the way at the expense of nearly half a trillion dollars and four thousand American lives, Iran can swoop in and reap the rewards. I guess they’re waving their thanks to Mr. Bush and the American people.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The Russian people vote today! I wonder who’ll win.